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Post by Brendan Reid on Jan 28, 2010 6:19:23 GMT
Brendan smiled, wishing more than anything that he could hold her close, rock her slowly. To just take her pain away would be good enough for him. But he knew deep down inside that nothing would ever take away the pain, the memories.
"And I dont know what I would do without you. Ever since I met you, youve become my life, my heart, my soul... I dont know what I would do without you here with me.. I dont know how I lived before you.. You make life easier, finally worth living.. And I love you so much.." He leaned down to kiss her neck gently, the scent of her hair sending chills down his spine. The way the soft skin of her neck brushed against his lips drove him completely wild, made him want her when he knew he shouldnt. He pulled away slowly, breathing in her scent deeply before opening his eyes and looking down at the love of his life.
"Everything about you is just so perfect.." he whispered.
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Post by Diane McLain on Jan 28, 2010 6:33:06 GMT
She felt her body shiver and cover with goosebumps. Her neck arched towards his lips, desperate to not lose the sweet touch. He was driving her wild, her new found lust like a poison running through her viens, blessing and destroying through its tracks. She drew in a breath, trying to stop herself from moaning of shivering at his touch.
She smiled at him, "I know how I lived without you, and it was a hell compared to what its like now. And this is me caught in a bed, with constant food supplements being shoved into my arms, a broken wrist and.... I couldn't care less," she said with a laugh. "For the first time in God knows how long I'm genuinely happy. I would never hurt you, and I know you'd rather die than hurt me. You make me want to be a better person for you, to search for the stars just so I can give them to you. But you make me feel like... I don't need to, and that there's nothing I need to do but lie here and be yours." She put her hand on his chest, feeling his rapid heart beat beneath her fingers. "This is love. I finally understand why everyone was so obsessed with it."
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Post by Brendan Reid on Jan 28, 2010 6:39:58 GMT
Brendan could barely fight the urge to climb atop her, kiss her passionatley, then show he love like she'd never felt before. And it took everything he had not to do it, too. He smiled at her, the hardest thing hed done yet, and released her hand.
"You dont have to impress me. You do enough of it without realizing it. And baby, its amazing. Youre like a drug to me, and Im not about to stop." He leaned down to kiss her, his hand finding its way to her hair as he caressed it gently, running his fingers in and out of it. He wanted to pull her close, to never let go. And oh, how it killed him not to be able to have her in his arms, but at least she was here now.
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Post by Diane McLain on Jan 28, 2010 6:50:10 GMT
She reached up to kiss him, pressing hard against his lips a lot more passionately than she would have usually wanted. She knew she was just driving herself insane, tempting herself with his body when she knew that she couldn't have it. She was breathing deeply, holding his hair with her good hand as she pressed him closer towards her, refusing to let go.
She dropped suddenly, pushing her lips away from him suddenly, scrambling backwards, her breathing suddenly quick and light. "Oh God, I'm sorry...." she said under her breath, pulling her knees up to her body as she put her hands on her forehead. "It felt... it felt so much like her," she breathed, closing her eyes. She was angry with herself; Why couldn't she just accept that she would feel uncontrollable lust for her boyfriend? Why couldn't she stop associating it with the feeling that had washed over her under the possession? She felt like crying and screaming, as she wrapped her arms around herself.
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Post by Brendan Reid on Jan 28, 2010 7:03:08 GMT
Brendan reached for her, pulled her into his lap as gently as he could. He rocked her gently, murmuring 'shh' into her ear. He didnt know what was wrong, but he could see clear as day that she was hurt. And it killed him.
"Oh Diane, baby. Its okay, baby.. Shh.." He caressed her cheek, brushing her hair from her face as he saw tears fall down her cheeks. He pulled her closer, his arms wrapped around her waist as he continued to rock her, tried to comfort her as best he knew how. But he was afraid he wasnt doing a very good job of it.
"Baby.. Its okay.. Its okay.." He continued to whisper, hoping it would take away her pain, take away her heartache. "Baby... Baby, shh..."
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Post by Diane McLain on Jan 28, 2010 7:16:52 GMT
Diane shook her head lightly, trying to stop herself from crying. She'd been doing far too much crying recently. She missed the old Diane, that would laugh and make stupid jokes when she was feeling awkward, that had stupid rules which she liked to follow through with even when they were a pain. She made a vow to bring that Diane back, to not let this thing get through to her and take away what little she had of herself left.
"I'm OK." she said, though she didn't want to pull away from him. She smiled to herself, feeling his warmth. "I just... guess I sometimes forget that she's fully gone, and that I don't have to fight her any more." she said with a shrug, keeping her words light and calm. "De's back in town, and she's not budging for anyone." she told herself with a smile and a light laugh. She realised almost immediately that she shouldn't have called herself by that nickname, and hoped that Brendan wouldn't catch onto it, but didn't want to draw attention to it.
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Post by Brendan Reid on Jan 28, 2010 17:29:37 GMT
Brendan held her close, wondering why anyone would call themself something as obnoxious as 'De'. He -for one- hated nicknames that were simply a letter, or sounded like one. To him, 'D' was the fourth letter of the alphabet, a letter used each and every day. Not a nickname of all things. She could call herself Frank, as far as he was concerned, and it would bother him far less. But he didnt dare tell her that, afraid she might pull away.
Her being in his arms was amazing, how she seemed to fit in so perfectly with his body. He shifted a bit, leaning against the wall as he held her close. He rubbed her side gently, the gown rustling beneath his touch. He smiled a bit to himself, the noise beginning to annoy him. He dropped his hand to hers, interlacing their fingers. It was just magical how every part of her body fit to his like pieces of a puzzle. And he wasnt willing to loose her. Over anything.
"I love you, Diane." He whispered in her ear, his lips brushing against hers as he spoke. And the thought crossed his mind whether or not it got her as fired up as it did him. But he quickly pushed it away, something sickening him about pushing her, making her think that was all he cared about when really it wasnt. Making love to her rested in the back of his mind peacefully, until her skin touched hers in the light way she always seemed to touch him and then all he was aware of was her, how beautiful she was, how badly he just wanted to hold her -if nothing else. He rubbed her back gently where the gown opened, his fingers caressing her skin gently as he leaned down to place a kiss on her forehead. He smiled at her, pulling her closer as his fingers ran across her bare back, if only in that one small spot on her upper back -the only place he dared to touch.
"And I always will." He promised her.
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Post by Diane McLain on Jan 28, 2010 18:27:05 GMT
Diane smiled, his touch driving her to a point beyond logic, beyond pain and discomfort and even beyond joy. He traced his fingers softly, every crease, every dot in his skin amazing her. Her whole body shivered lightly, goose-pimples rushing over the patches which he touched. He would probably think she was cold, but her skin was warm to the touch, her cheeks a rosy red. If he could see the thoughts and memories flying through her mind at that moment, he probably would have not been able to pull away. "And I'll love you always, Brendan." she promised, knowing that those words had never been spoken with more truth.
She tried to hold her own weight as she leaned into him, tried not to press against anything on his fragile body. Brendan had the back of Diane's back, but Diane had no such place where she dared to touch. He looked so strong, so protective it was hard to come to terms with the pain just holding him would give him.
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Post by Brendan Reid on Jan 28, 2010 18:42:31 GMT
Surprisingly, with Diane pressed to his chest, he wasnt in pain. At this point, he was so happy, he didnt think pain was possible. He pulled her closer, wanting to be chest to chest with her but knowing he couldnt manage that. He bent one of his knees behind her back, letting her lean against it as he had his other leg beneath her knees, her pretty legs laid out before him. He kissed her cheek, supporting her with his knee as he reached for her blanket, to cover her.
"Scared?" He asked, noticing how she was trying to support her own weight, as if she would make a break for it at any moment. But he would be fine with that, if she left him. Better to be happy without him than miserable with him, was how he saw things. He pressed his hand to her upper thigh just long enough to pull himself up a little more, then he quickly pulled his hand back. He looked down at her, brushing her hair from her pale face.
"Its okay, you know.."
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Post by Diane McLain on Jan 28, 2010 19:05:32 GMT
She smiled nervously, still feeling a little uncomfortable with how close she was to being able to hurt Brendan. But as long as he was in control and he moved her to where he was comfortable, she wouldn't mind. "A little," she admitted with a blush. "I'm just scared of hurting you." she told him, looking down as she ran her fingers through his. "I know how easy it is for me to do that by accident at the moment, and I-I don't ever want to see you in pain again." she said, feeling her eyes watering at the very idea, remembering how it had felt like her heart was stopping as she heard his heart monitor falling nearly flat, remembering when this had all happened and how she had caught him, and the fear that had run through her veins. She wasn't sure if she would ever be able to trust herself around him, or ever convince herself that he wasn't going to be hurt by her.
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Post by Brendan Reid on Jan 31, 2010 3:11:01 GMT
Brendan smiled down at her, a fake smile, but he was trying to comfort her. "Baby, you cant hurt me.. Physically, I suppose you could rip at my healing wounds and dig your nails down to the muscle... But the only way you could really hurt me would be by no longer loving me. Even leaving me would hurt less than that." He brushed her hair from her face with a swish of his hand. He gazed down at the fragile girl in his arms, the pale, tattooed mess, but realized that he wouldnt want any other girl in the world to be this close to him. He caressed her cheek gently, a gentle look on his face as he watched her, not quite sure what he was looking for but sure he would know once he found it.
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Post by Diane McLain on Jan 31, 2010 3:26:24 GMT
She looked at him in slight horror as she instinctively pulled back, afraid now more than ever as the mental image joined her other ones. "Is that supposed to be comforting?" she asked, trying to smile and laugh her way through it when she was genuinely afraid. She didn't care if something hurt him more than another, she still didn't want to hurt him at all. "Brendan, I watched you die because of hurting you, don't even joke, don't even mention letting me do anything like that again, OK?" she said, a thin smile on her lips as she pleaded.
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Post by Brendan Reid on Jan 31, 2010 3:32:13 GMT
Brendan pulled himself away, seeing she didnt want to be near him. He nodded slowly, wondering what he had done to make her pull away. Then again, it wasnt the only time someone had backed away from him. And it sure as hell wouldnt be the last. He guessed she just wanted to get back to bed, or was tired of being crowded.
"O-okay.." He stammered, not quite comprehending her words.
She doesnt want you near her!
I-is it really that?
Shes scared of you now. She doesnt even want you in the same room as her! Cant you see the fear in her eyes, the hurt etched onto her pale face?
She doesnt want you, Brendan. Its time to admit it.
"Oh.. I guess youre right.." He said, crawling back into his bed.
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Post by Diane McLain on Jan 31, 2010 3:51:50 GMT
Diane nodded to herself, wrapping her arms around herself as she looked down, feeling cold without Brendan around her. Everything felt colder since she had become so much weaker, and she pulled the quilt around her tighter, fighting her shivering. "I don't want you to take it the wrong way," she felt the need to clarify, seeing his reluctance. "I just... I couldn't live with myself if something happened to you, and you're so weak right now that I'm scared of what I could do, even if it was just by accident," she told him with a shrug that looked more like a shiver.
At that moment, a nurse walked in, checking on the needle in Diane's arm and taking it out, ignoring Diane's cringe as it slid out of her arm, as she put down a red plastic cup filled with thick bright pink frothy liquid. Diane looked at it suspiciously. "Protein shake," the nurse explained quickly. "You need to gain weight, and it will help your body repair itself. You should probably avoid solid foods for a couple of days, until your digestive system gets used to nutrition again. Other than that, you should be strong enough to go sometime this evening," she told her, before walking slowly to Brendan's bed and checking up on his progress.
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Post by Brendan Reid on Jan 31, 2010 4:02:08 GMT
Brendan curled up, swatting the nurse away as he tucked his head down against his knees, listening to the sickening sound of the thousands of scabs cracking, the stitches popping. He cringed a bit, then grabbed at his pillow, pulling it under his head as he pulled the blanket over him, trying to keep the nurse and her awful instruments away. He knew he wasnt going home for another week, needed two more surgeries, and wouldnt be on solid food until the following month. But on the bright side, he could walk.
He still tried to fight the nurse, not wanting her to stick the needle in his arm, to put him to sleep for another dreadful surgery. He didnt want them cutting him open when he had only just healed. He didnt want to go to sleep, his brother screaming dreadful, true things in his head. He didnt want the nightmares to come back. He looked down at the bands he had on his arm, one for Diane and one for himself, and the look of the two small bands filled him with dread.
Its about time you seen things my way, Brendan. Its about damn time.
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