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Post by Brendan Reid on Feb 1, 2010 6:41:36 GMT
Brendan stirred, opening his eyes to a new room, an unfamilar room. He looked down at Diane on his chest, the pain from her pressure on his wounds came flooding back all at once. He cringed, but pulled the sleeping girl closer.
This isnt the room me and Diane have been sharing.. He thought, looking around. They mustve moved one of us and I fogot, is all.
He ran a hand through his hair, pulling himself up a bit as he glanced at the mess of wires they were entangled in. He himself was hooked up to a single IV, whereas Diane was hooked up to many many machines, each wire leading to a diffrent machine. He looked down at her, seeing she looked a little better, not quite as pale as she had been. But then again, he was probably just imagining things. He caressed her cheek gently, his face soft and caring. He had been so close to loosing her, and here she was, asleep on his chest. How could things go from bad to perfect so quickly? He smiled down at the sleeping girl, pulling her closer as he hummed a tune softly.
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Post by Diane McLain on Feb 1, 2010 6:49:23 GMT
Diane smiled, her eyes still closed as she started to realise that she was awake. She listened to the tune, not recognising it but knowing that it relaxed her, and that soon, when she awoke, she would crave the sleepy existence of just listening in pure bliss.
Finally, she realised she could fight off no longer. She was becomming more aware of the world, her whole body itching. Half-asleep, she shook her head and reached for the pads stuck to her chest, scratching them off. Her eyes opened slowly as the long low beeeeeeeep from the machine ran through her ears, as she realised the stickers had been attached to the heart monitor. She wasn't done yet, though, reaching to pull out the annoying needle in her arm.
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Post by Brendan Reid on Feb 1, 2010 6:57:58 GMT
Brendan quickly grabbed her wrists, holding them gently above her head. He wasnt going to hurt her -he would never dream of hurting Diane- but he couldnt sit around and let her take her own life like this.
"Diane. Stop. Youre going to end up killing yourself if you dont leave this stuff alone. Its helping you. You dont want to die, do you? I cant live without you, Diane.." He told her, gazing into her eyes. She seemed so hurt, so confused. And he wishes he could help.
"Just let me hold you, Diane. Just let me hold you and rock you and love you.. I dont want you to go, Diane. I cant bare loosing you.. I dont know what I would do if you were gone. And it would hurt alot more knowing you did it on purpose. You told me once, Diane, that you didnt want me to try and kill myself anymore. You told me you couldnt take it. Well, I cant take this. Its time to stop fighting, Diane, and to get better. And then we can go home, together, and do whatever it is you want to do. We can watch that movie, Ill cuddle with you all night long. Ill make love to you, if thats what you want, Diane. But you have to get better first. You have to get fixed, and then we can leave this hospital and we can do whatever you want to do. Anything at all.." He said, offering her a smile.
"I love you, Diane. Please stop fighting..."
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Post by Diane McLain on Feb 1, 2010 7:10:46 GMT
Diane looked vaguely at Brendan, not fighting him as she looked at him, obviously not quite all there. She looked at him, and then down to the needle, not really seeing much. She was trying to concentrate on his words, occasionally managing and occasionally slipping out of focus. The massage, after a few moments, seemed to finally sink in though. Her mouth opened to try and speak, but closed as she tried to gain her strength, trying again softly, "I-it just itched...." she told him, looking down, her eyes glazing over, "I didn't mean for it to go so far. I want to get better, I want to be there for you." she stopped, breathing in quickly as she felt suddenly nauseous, pulling herself out of her grasp to double over, trying to calm her stomach.
She closed her eyes tightly, waiting for the moment to pass. With a few more gulps of air, she finally was able to look up to Brendan, and the look of concern broke her heart. "I didn't mean..." she tried again, finding herself short of breath as she took the oxygen mask from where she had lost it in her sleep, and putting it back on so she could breath better.
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Post by Brendan Reid on Feb 1, 2010 7:30:51 GMT
Brendan leaned forward, not having meant to hurt her. And even though it was unintentional, it still stung. He kissed her forehead, tears welling up in his eyes as he looked down at her. He reached up to caress her cheek gently, his tears slipping down his cheeks.
"Diane, Im so close to loosing you.." He murmured, gazing into her eyes as he spoke. "For you to go would be one thing.. B-but to know you did it yourself would hurt even more. Diane, if you wont want to live for me, thats fine. But live for your family, live for your friends who cant be here anymore. If you dont want to live for me, then live for something meaningful. Dont do this to yourself..."
The tears continued to slide down his cheeks, pooling at his chin, the dropping off onto his shirt. He raised an arm, wiping at his cheeks. But he was beyond caring if Diane saw him cry.
"Diane, I love you.." He reached up to caress her cheek. "I mean that."
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Post by Diane McLain on Feb 1, 2010 7:43:43 GMT
Diane stared at him, her breathing becoming heavier as her chest began to stung, dragged into a painfully real world by Brendan's tears. She looked at him, having no liquids to produce tears, no energy to sob, she just stared with wide, bloodshot eyes, and leaned forwards, pressing her head against his shoulder and wrapping her arms around him as best she could.
She held her mask, tapping against it as she thought of the right words to say. She knew she wouldn't be able to speak long sentences without gaps for breathing in the middle, and so each word counted. She took away the mask, gasping, "I've never wanted to die...." and quickly put on her mask again, taking in a deep breath. That wasn't so bad. She tried again, "I will love you always, and I will live for you," she said, struggling near the end of the sentence as her gasps into the mask became deeper. But she didn't mind, holding onto Brendan as tightly as she could manage.
She leaned closer, her eyes burning as she desperately wanted to cry. She had made him a promise that she would live, and even now she wasn't sure if she believed it. She knew she would try with every part of her soul, but she felt so weak, and it still took almost all of her strength to not rip out the needle - not because of what it stood for, but because it made her feel so nauseous and itchy.
Two nurses ran in suddenly, realising the heart monitor was off, but stopping as they realised that she was awake and by no means dead. One walked away while the other walked to Diane, putting the stickers back on her chest, as the machine went back to a rhythmic beat, slightly faster than the nurse liked. "Your bp is a little high...." she commented as she wrote it down on a chart, but she shrugged, "Its probably nothing," she explained, walking off to tell a doctor of her findings.
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Post by Brendan Reid on Feb 3, 2010 6:12:31 GMT
Brendan held her close as the nurses came in, afraid they would pull her away from him and take her away again. Except that this time, he wouldnt get her back. He shook his head, shaking away the thought as the nurse left. He kissed the top of her head, missing her lips being pressed to his. Hopefully they would be out of here and back to their normal selves, their normal relationship very soon. He hoped they would be back to cuddling in his dorm while watching a movie, going out to dinner, and wandering around the mall before they knew it. But he knew each moment would feel like a lifetime as long as they were apart. He held her close to his chest, her warmth making up for the lack of blanket. He kissed her forehead, his lips brushing her skin gently.
"I love you, Diane. And I always will." He whispered to her, rubbing her back gently.
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Post by Diane McLain on Feb 3, 2010 6:21:27 GMT
Diane nodded, her fingers curling around onto Brendan's top as she clutched onto him desperately, icy speckles donning her eyes and glittering in the unnatural light. "You know what I want, Brendan?" Diane asked, taking her Oxygen mask in her hands, keeping it just above her mouth but still off so that she could speak. "I-I just want to be able to kiss you without one of us worrying about our heartbeat. I just want to-" she put the mask back, taking a deep breath before continuing, "I want to hold you without worrying about ripping stitches or not being able to breath." she told him, tilting her head towards him, looking up at him with glossy eyes.
She smiled, looking down shyly as she blushed. "We'll just..." she took another breath, shivering as she did so, "Pretend. See, we're actually... in your dorm and-and-" she looked around, and saw the heart monitor, tugging lightly on the wires so it skuttled forwards, "And this is the TV, and we-we're just watching a crappy horror movie..." she gave a shaking laugh, pulling Brendan's arms tighter around her, letting her imagination block everything else out.
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Post by Brendan Reid on Feb 3, 2010 6:29:29 GMT
Brendan smiled, feeling loved. No one could ever make him feel the way she did, make him love the way she did. No one could compare to her, and he knew it. He pulled her mask away, kissing her lips gently, his tounge finding its way between her teeth before he pulled back, giving her her mask back. He wanted more, but knew he would be putting her life in jeopardy for his own selfish reasons. He knew he wouldnt be able to live with himself if he took her breath away, literally. He wouldnt be able to keep her safe around him. And the thought of hurting her killed him inside. So he pulled her close, the light pressure she was putting on his wounds actually feeling good. Because he knew she was there, that he wasnt dreaming anymore.
"If thats what you want, baby, Ill watch every crappy horror film ever made. And Ill watch them right here in this bed. With you." He pulled her closer, his hand resting on her stomach. His thoughts began to wander, pushing themselves to the topic of children and babies and biology. But he pushed them away, a crying baby the last thing he wanted at the moment. Right now, he wanted Diane. And he was determined to enjoy every minute he had with her.
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Post by Diane McLain on Feb 3, 2010 6:37:44 GMT
Diane nodded, enjoying the kiss though it took everything to stop herself from pushing herself closer, forcing him to keep kissing her and not let go until her heart stopped. But she could hear her heart monitor as it made a complaining high pitched beep, warning them both that it was close to getting too high. She pulled back and sighed, taking Brendan's hand and kissing it lightly. Although she would never show it to Brendan, the moment of bliss had driven her insane, making her desperate for more. Her heartbeat was refusing to go back to normal, rising slowly but surely as she felt her body shiver.
She closed her eyes tightly as speckles of tears made her cheeks wet, her breathing grating painfully. She couldn't stop her body from shivering, fear of her heart rising ironically making it rise all the more, the pain making her breath heavier as the spiral continued. "I-I'm scared..." she croaked, her voice sounding barely like her own.
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Post by Brendan Reid on Feb 3, 2010 6:43:10 GMT
Brendan stroked her hair, not letting her see the fear on his face. Not willing to let her see he was scared too. He pulled her closer, sitting her up a bit. He hoped it would help her to breathe better, to get her heart rate down. He had to get her mind off of things before the doctor came in and chewed him out.
"Lets just watch out crappy movie, okay?" He mumbled, sitting her up straight in his lap, his head rested on her shoulder as she herself rested against him. He wrapped his arms around her waist, pulling her closer.
I shouldnt have kissed her... He thought. This is all my fault. Because Ive wanted her so bad for the last few weeks. Because Im nothing but a selfish bastard. This is all my fault. And Ill never forgive myself. I could never forgive myself for hurting her like this..
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Post by Diane McLain on Feb 3, 2010 6:56:52 GMT
Diane shivered, trying to pull herself around so that she could be up properly, refusing to look at the screen. It was more scary then any horror movie she'd ever seen. Her fingers wrapped around into fists until her knuckles went white, and then she tightened them more, trying to concentrate on something other than the frightening beeping noise.
"Brendan..." her voice squeaked, resting her head against her. She was so afraid of dying, not because it was scary but because she was afraid of letting everyone down. Her friends, who she hadn't even been able to speak to, would be broken up. Her parents... Sharon would be heartbroken, and Diane hated to think what burying her step-daughter would do after she had just buried her son. Then her father, usually serious and calm about everything., losing his only family.. she couldn't even imagine a reaction from him. And Brendan... she couldn't break her promise, couldn't leave him, couldn't bare to see how much it would tear him apart.
"I-I can't...." she gasped, doubling over as the stress set her heart wild, "Too many... everyone wants... I can't take it... It's too much...."
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Post by Brendan Reid on Feb 3, 2010 7:04:06 GMT
Brendan straightened her up, not knowing what to do.
"Shh.. No one wants anything, Diane. No one wants anything.." He mumbled as the nurse came in, pulling Diane from him with such force that it terrified him. She stuck a needle in Dianes arm, and Brendan looked away. Another nurse came in, grabbing him firmly by the shoulders and telling him he had to leave.
"No! She needs me!" He screamed, struggling against the nurse as she pulled him to a wheelchair. He pulled away from her, tried to force himself to Diane.
"Youre due in surgery, Mr Reid." One nurse said with a grin, sticking a needle in his arm.
"No!" He screamed, ripping it out before she had gotten all the medicine from it. He hurled it at the wall. "No! She needs me! I need her! You cant do this! You cant!"
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Post by Diane McLain on Feb 3, 2010 7:16:57 GMT
Tears rushed down Diane's face as she felt herself being pulled away. She was feeling light-headed from not being able to breath, her heart pounding in her chest. She looked absently at the needle being put into her arm, not really understanding any of what was going on. Brendan was screaming and shouting, she realised vaguely, her eyes trailing along back to him, half open. She didn't know if it was what the nurse had given her, or if her body was simply giving up, but she was feeling weak. Her delirium was kicking back in, as a slightly wild but tired look danced in her eyes. "Get well soon, Brendan..." she murmured with a smile between her soft gasps, her blood pounding through her ears so fast she couldn't hear anything he was saying.
She thought, with a disinterest, that she was going to die. The only pain she got from that while in her delirium was the thought that Brendan would have to watch. She wanted him away, to get better on his own, to not have to watch it happen...
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Post by Brendan Reid on Feb 3, 2010 7:22:36 GMT
The nurse caught Dianes attention, speaking louder than usual to make sure Diane had heard her.
"Sweety, were just putting you to sleep for a while. Youll be awake before you know it!" She patted Dianes hand as the other nurse tore Brendan away, sticking the needle back into his arm, finally getting all the medicine into his system as he drifted slowly into sleep.
"Diane.. Diane.. Diane.." He cried, reaching for her as he fell asleep, the nurses wheeling him to a bed, picking up his limp body and laying it on a bed and pushing him to the OR.
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