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Post by Diane McLain on Mar 2, 2010 19:11:40 GMT
Diane looked through the darkness, saw the bright silver shining like a beacon through the dark. Nothing made sense. She had thought about it, thought about how horrific it was to do. her phone was going off again, but she didn't want to hear it, didn't want to know any more now that she knew he was dead. Braxton would probably be screaming at her.
Suicide was selfish. It left you in someone calm and plunged the rest of the world into pain. She had watched it happen to many times, felt her pain and saw the pain of those around her, like a stone falling unnoticed to the bottom of the ocean, but the ripples drifting on. But who would care if it was her? Her emotionless father? The step-mother who was using her? Her friends had all gone, ran away to other schools, faded from her or dead.
She bent down and took the knife in her hands. "You'll bring me back..." she whispered under her breath, her face clouded in shadow.
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Post by Antosha Cobb on Mar 3, 2010 1:25:37 GMT
Antosha shook his head, touching her shoulder affectionately. "Don't do it." he said, gently holding her wrists together. "He's still alive, Diane." he promised, reaching out to touch her cheek. He knew he wasn't good at comforting, but he was trying. Maybe giving her a knife wasn't the best of ideas, but she was right. He would just keep bring her back over and over again if that's what it took.
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Post by Diane McLain on Mar 3, 2010 1:39:45 GMT
Diane looked down, her breathing growing heavier as her body shivered underneath him. She suddenly fell forwards, her legs giving way. She grabbed onto him, using his strength to hold herself upright as her body shuddered, her heart feeling like it was ready to smash through her chest. He's alive...
"You're lying..." she said through gritted teeth, pulling herself up. "You're lying because you don't want to waste your magic on me... You want to pretend you're the good guy..." she told herself, shaking her head fiercely. "Braxton wouldn't lie to me. He's DEAD!" she screamed pushing herself back.
She fell back, feeling like she was falling forever, tripping over her legs that had refused to fight for energy after the hours of walking. She fell on her legs, not even bothering to shield herself from the fall. "No one will care..." she mumbled, a shadow lying in the darkness, holding onto her wrists as they burned. She looked forwards, the knife glistening on the ground, all she could see through her darkness.
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Post by Antosha Cobb on Mar 3, 2010 2:05:14 GMT
Ant rushed to her side, gently grabbing her wrists. "Diane!" he cried out, slowly pulling the knife away from her. "Damnit..." he muttered, falling to his knees. Without hesitation he leaned forward, kissing her forehead. "Magic on you would never be a waste." he promised, not caring what she thought or not. "And I'm not lying, idiot, he's alive." he tried again, pulling her onto the bed to asses the damage on her wrists. No way would she be allowed near sharp objects again.
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Post by Diane McLain on Mar 3, 2010 2:18:43 GMT
Diane shuddered at the touch of his kiss, a long forgotten memory of a nightmare coming to life before her eyes. She had almost expected the kiss to kill her, to be a bullet to her head, just like in that dream from so long ago. Instead it felt like it was reopening a healing wound.
She looked back to the knife on the floor, and down to her wrists. They were itchy where the handle had scratched them, but she hadn't had time to make any damage to them.
She leant forwards, resting her head against his shoulder. "He can't be..." she mumbled, "If-if he's dead I can forgive him... I can stop being angry at him because he's dead, and you can't be angry at dead people. If he's dead I can make stupid mistakes If he's alive..." tears rolled down her face, "If he's alive then its real. He betrayed me. He didn't tell me, didn't trust me.... he promised me, dammit. He promised me. I've failed...." she shook her head, wrapping her arms around his neck and sobbing, her body shaking, already trying to remember exactly how many of each pills she had in her beside cabinet, and how many she could take to make the pain go away permanently.
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Post by Antosha Cobb on Mar 5, 2010 20:49:35 GMT
Anto held his arms around her, pulling her body against his. She was serious about this... Serious about dying, he didn't have to read her emotions to tell that. "Diane..." he said her name softly, like an unspoken prayer. He brushed his fingers across her skin, cherishing what time they had left. "Don't cry anymore, De..." he whispered, gently stroking her cheek. The images were coming faster, her whole future growing black before his eyes. He couldn't take it, couldn't take her leaving him without knowing. "I love you.." he pressed his lips to her; so soft and sweet, they melted on her skin. Ant pulled her closer to him, deepening the kiss without pausing to breath. Wanting every part of her that could be offered, wanting to take it for his own. Even if she was going to kill herself tomorrow.
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Post by Diane McLain on Mar 5, 2010 21:27:38 GMT
Diane's eyes flew open, the kiss pressing against her lips, the words sinking in slowly, staying on the surface as her lips traced across him. It was an old dance but the knew the steps well, remembering them all and pressing her hands across his arms.
She gasped, needing to take a breath and pushing him back, her heart beating quickly, "What?" she breathed, staring at him. Was this another cruel joke? She kept him at arms length. Why would he say that, why now...?
She shook her head, looking away, "No... You're Antosha... You don't love me... You're the man who hurt me, you're... You're..." she looked down, every memory of them together flashing before her eyes. "You... Loved me?" her voice shook.
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Post by Antosha Cobb on Mar 5, 2010 21:35:44 GMT
Antosha nodded, reaching out for her still. "I still do, and it kills me.. Everytime you touch him because it's not me." he whispered, gently laying her down on the bed. "Diane, your going to leave me forever. And I know it, please De... Be mine for tonight?" his voice was calm and gentle, his hands gently stroking her skin. He gave her distance but still remained close to her, slowly leaning down to kiss her again. "Forget about everything, just be with me.."
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Post by Diane McLain on Mar 5, 2010 22:28:19 GMT
Diane looked up at him, her body shivering under his touch. Was she dreaming, hallucinating, being dragged onto some joke? She looked up at him, remembering every time she had wanted to be with him, if just for one night, to make everything go away. She didn't know what he had seen - if it had been that she would reunite with Brendan and be his forever, or something more sinister, and not knowing terrified her.
She looked up at him, feeling her lips brush against his softly, for the first time it seemed that they were both at the same place at the same time, ready to be with each other. She felt his pain, knew what it must have been like for him to have loved Brynn and her at the same time, and now she felt split in two. Brendan had hurt her... but then, so had Antosha.
She pulled herself closer to him, kissing his passionately, almost desperately, as she looked back to her. "One night, Antosha... one night to get rid of everything, and then we continue. You go back to Brynn, I go back to Brendan. One night, we love each other, so we can love them..." she said, feeling her eyes growing moist at the thought of having to separate from Antosha.
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Post by Antosha Cobb on Mar 6, 2010 21:51:42 GMT
Antosha nodded, knowing she would feel different about him in the morning. Yet he would have to remain in love with her. He leaned down on to her, doing his best not to crush her. "I love you..." he whispered, kissing her desperately as if his life depended on it. He had waited forever to be with her, and now that she was here nothing would keep him away. Even if they only had a night. He kissed her again deeply, his tongue gently running against her lower lip.
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Post by Diane McLain on Mar 6, 2010 22:06:22 GMT
She kissed him back deeply, her body bent to reach his desperately. She tried to tell herself that this was a medicine, that this was so that she could go back to loving Brendan, but as her body pressed against him her heart ached. Screw it all, she thought, wrapping her arms tightly around her and pressing into him with frightening passion. Her fingers raced along his back, grabbing onto his shirt, feeling like everything was suddenly put onto fast-forward. "Antosha..." she was able to breath before the lust stole her again, pressing her lips back against his. She could barely breath, barely think, her hormones taking over her body.
"I love you too, Antosha, I love you too." she said, her hands to each side of his face, her breathing still short and desperate, "More than you'll ever know, I love you, and I've wanted you to say it for so long and..." she looked into his eyes. SHe practically pounced on him, kissing him so hard that she pushed him back, though grabbing onto his body to bring it closer.
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