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Post by Zeke James Vasser on Apr 17, 2010 20:32:52 GMT
Zeke was looking at the huge collection of items smiling just thinking how passionate he was for these things. It would be hard to let go of them. Zeke yawned slightly noticing he was undressing reveling bandages. The bandages looked damaged and Zeke felt strange inside thinking how much pain Kit had gone through. He swore to find whoever did this, and to protect Kit from something like it. That’s what he said last time though, and it didn’t work out that way.
Kit spoke up needing some help with the bandages and then a side note about his shoes. “Yea I can help you…” Zeke said giving a warm smile. He also swung his legs off the bed standing up and taking his shoes off putting them by the door. He didn’t want to get his room all dirty. Walking up behind Kit he grabbed the medicine kit as well as his hand. Pulling him gently to the bed so he could replace the bandages.
“I’ve only done this once or twice so if I do anything wrong tell me. If anything hurts let me know mmkay?” Zeke said his hand on Kit’s shoulder and near the end of the bandage.
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Post by Kit Livingston on Apr 17, 2010 21:04:15 GMT
Kit smiled, knowing that it was good to be taken care of. He sat down on the bed, remembering how he had helped Zeke when he had been hurt. It seemed right that the favour should be returned, that all the favours were being paid off for. "Thanks," he told him softly, knowing that it couldn't be easy to see his friend - his boyfriend, he corrected himself - in pain. "It's OK, I'm expecting it to hurt..." he said softly, taking the end of the bandage and undoing it as best as he could, passing it to Zeke as it unwrapped around his back where it was hard to reach.
He took in a sharp breath as the bandages molded to the fine cloth tugged against the wound. He gritted his teeth, but tried to smile through the pain, to not hurt Zeke any more than it already was to watch it. "You know I'd probably be in one piece by now if I'd actually done doctors orders and kept in bed..." he said softly, looking sideways. There would have been no way he could have avoided going away, even through the chaos and what had happened to him. "I'm sorry I went away without telling you..." he told him, not remembering if he'd said it before or not, but it still needed saying. [/font]
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Post by Zeke James Vasser on Apr 17, 2010 21:22:44 GMT
Zeke watched as Kit started him off. Regardless of the smile trying to shine through Zeke noticed how in pain he was. It hurt even him to see Kit like that. So he pulled off the bandage trying to go fast enough that it would pull on his skin too much, but slow enough so that he wasn’t ripping off the bandage. After a while he had gotten the bloodied wrapping off and thrown away. “You should have been resting…” Zeke mumbled looking at the cut his fingers centimeters from touching it. It was large cut and it was still pretty dark. Zeke bit his lip looking up into Kit’s eyes. He stopped. “I guess I should clean it up a bit. This might burn a little.” Zeke grabbed the antiseptic and began cleaning the cut up.
Finishing he put it away grabbing some fresh gauze. “Almost done…” Zeke said placing them on the cut. “It’s ok…” Zeke mumbled. “How was the trip anyways?” He said making small talk while he worked on the cut. He remembered how Kit just disappeared after a few weeks of not seeing each other. In fact he couldn’t exactly remember the last time they did something together or for that matter the last time he kissed Kit. It was a strange feeling. Zeke picked up the bandaging and began slowly and surely wrapping up the cut. “Tell me if it’s too tight.” Zeke said wrapping it around Kit’s torso snugly.
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Post by Kit Livingston on Apr 17, 2010 21:38:02 GMT
Kit jumped as the antiseptic hit, it was more painful than he'd been expecting as he felt a million swear words come to the tip of his tongue, only staying there from biting his lip. He laughed at his reaction, though, shaking his head as he felt the gause, watching Zeke carefully. "What can I say? It was a funeral, not exactly a barrel of laughs..." he said grimly, his words soft and barely spoken to Zeke but just said to the room.
He looked down, feeling the tightness of the bandage. It did feel snug, and just right. "Thanks, Zek," he told him very quietly, still a little offput from remembering what the trip had been about, "It's fine, thank you," he explained quietly as he slid back on the bed and kicked off his shoes, moving to lie down, propping himself up so that he was mostly sitting. "I know I should have stayed in bed, but it drives me insane. I couldn't miss my friend's funeral to sit in bed." [/font]
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Post by Zeke James Vasser on Apr 17, 2010 21:55:47 GMT
Zeke nodded at his voice. “Sorry…” It was all he could really say. Zeke finished and cut the bandage clipping it into place. There you go. He smiled putting his hand on Kit’s shoulder and examining his work. “Pretty good if I do say so myself.” Zeke grinned. He watched Kit prop himself on the bed as Zeke rose from the floor and sat at the edge of Kit’s bed. “I understand…just try to stay in your bed now kay?” He said smiling putting his hands on the bed and leaning back a bit. He avoided touching Kit afraid maybe whatever contact might hurt him.
Zeke sighed. “Now that I think of it I haven’t seen you in a long time…” He said smiling sadly. It was quiet as the rain was still beating hard on the window now coupled with loud lightning and thunder. “You all dry now?” Zeke said touching his Kit’s damp pants. “Your bed is going to get all wet.” He mumbled quietly. For some reason things were just quiet like they were meeting each other all over again. Well this time in a bedroom instead of a dance floor, and there wasn’t alcohol present. Zeke gave off a sigh standing up and opening one of Kit’s drawers. Lucky for him the drawer had some dry pajama pants in it. He picked a pair up tossing it to the bed. “Are those okay?” He said turning to Kit.
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Post by Kit Livingston on Apr 17, 2010 22:05:11 GMT
Kit smiled and laughed, "I'm fine!" he said, knowing that Zeke was doing well looking after him and acting as any good boyfriend should be, and he appreciated his kindness, but for now all Kit wanted was for someone to talk to and someone to be there to let him rest and not feel the urge to get out and about again. He picked up the pyjamas and put them to one side. He was still slightly wet, but it wasn't really anything bad enough to get his bed wet, and even if it was he wasn't the sort to worry about something like that.
He held out his hand to Zeke, wanting him to take it, wanting to be able to have him close. He needed to talk, needed to feel close again. He was feeling so open again, like everything clicked and he didn't have to pretend anything, even though at the end of the day, he knew he would always be putting on a face. If it wasn't around him, then it would be when he went. He looked at him closely, debating over his words. "Zeke... Come here," he asked slowly, keeping his hand held out for him, "I... I want to tell you something..." he said, unwilling to start until he was close.
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Post by Zeke James Vasser on Apr 17, 2010 22:13:56 GMT
Zeke smiled. “You need rest.” He smiled turning to Kit with his arm outstretched, the pants thrown aside. He walked up grabbing Kit’s hand trying to get on the bed without moving it too much. He was close to Kit one arm around his waist and the other still in Kit’s hand. “And what might that be?” He said curiously looking into his eyes. “Hmm?” The strange feeling of quiet fell over things. For one at least it felt right for Kit to be in his arms again. Zeke felt more natural from when they first got in here.
He really did miss Kit, a lot actually. It was too long since he had this feeling, but yet somewhere inside he didn’t feel right, like how something just worked out so right that something was bound to happen, particularly something horrible. However the thought was pushed aside while Zeke focused in on Kit’s words.
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Post by Kit Livingston on Apr 17, 2010 22:25:31 GMT
Kit took Zeke's hand, glad that he was close, but now that he was it felt awkward again, suddenly hard to speak. He had to say something now, something that was important, something that he had been meaning to. He'd come to a crossroads, and there were many paths to take. There was lying, there was pretending that everything was normal, pretending everything was better than normal, pretending that he didn't care, pretending that he didn't need him. He looked up at Zeke. He had a problem, and when he had a problem he knew that Zeke would always be there. Since he had lately been running out of options of who to go to, it seemed reasonable to just be honest, even if it hurt.
"Zeke..." he said slowly, keeping his hand in his and looking at the separate fingers with interest. "When I was in America, Crys came to see me..." he said slowly, keeping his eyes on the joint hands, "She was... well, she was trying to get me, basically," he told him, looking to Zeke, and then finding it difficult as he looked down again. "I mean, I said no. I didn't do anything. I just... didn't want to keep it from you." Was that why he had been needing to say it aloud? He had felt so guilty, like he had cheated on his boyfriend for doing the opposite, and for cheating on his friend by refusing. Nothing made sense and he needed clarity, for someone to tell him he'd done something right... or at least right for the time. "I was... I was just really angry at her. I was away for my friend's funeral! I... almost expected her to be..." he shook his head, not knowing the words, feeling like a fool. [/blockquote]
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Post by Zeke James Vasser on Apr 17, 2010 22:42:08 GMT
Zeke didn’t know what to fell. At first it was anger, toward Crys of course, then happiness that Kit chose him. Then it was blank. Kit looked uncomfortable like he’d done something wrong. Zeke didn’t talk for a few seconds and blinked once or twice finally it sunk in and he pulled him a bit closer and smiled. “Kit…don’t feel bad. I’m happy with your honesty and more so the fact that you didn’t do anything…I…” Zeke stopped himself like so many other times before. Was this the place to say it? “I…I’m really happy.” He smiled. “I know Crys I your friend Kit, and while I’m a bit mad her I don’t think you should worry about this too much. You were right to say no.” He said.
“Kit…” He touched the side of his face. “Look at me.” Zeke said quietly pushing some of his hair back. “It’s ok…alright?” While he wanted to kiss Kit he didn’t for the reason that he needed comforting rather than a kiss. He didn’t want to do what Crys did, he wasn’t like that and he wasn’t about to make the mistake she did. “I’m here for you…if you need someone or something, I’ll always be here. Remember that.” Zeke said quietly. It was quiet after that as he just held Kit close to him. What more was there to say? A clash of thunder seemed to knock the lights out for a second as they flashed back on.
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Post by Kit Livingston on Apr 17, 2010 22:59:10 GMT
Kit nodded, a weak smile on his face as he heard Zeke's support. Someone was telling him the way, telling him that for once he had done the right thing. He was, after all, concerned with principals and he would have never dreamed of cheating on someone and would have never done it while in America, no matter how hurt and confused he may have been.
He looked at Zeke, a blank look on his face as everything slipped through cracks and lodged itself into places it shouldn't have been. His mind was spinning with thoughts he couldn't catch up with and that he would never really know, but all he knew was that he needed someone to just for a moment love him.
He pressed forwards suddenly, his lips pressing desperately against Zeke's, lifting his hands to his face as he let the confusion burst into false passion. He was using him, abusing his love for him and by all rights was probably no better than Crys. Worse, for he still kept up the pretense that he was a good person. But he needed someone, anyone, needed to be making someone else happy and letting himself forget everything.
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Post by Zeke James Vasser on Apr 17, 2010 23:20:06 GMT
Zeke was quiet just watching Kit’s reactions. “Mmm…” He moved back in surprise but not breaking contact slowly melting into the forceful kiss. It seemed desperate and a bit rushed. Zeke pulled away. “Kit…slow down you’ll hurt yourself.” Zeke said quietly his nose touching Kits; this needed to have some feeling, and this had to be slowed down. Zeke had to show Kit that he loved him he really did. Zeke’s hand found it’s way around Kit’s waist his other on the side of Kit’s face. He leaned in slowly pressing his lips against Kit’s filling it with emotion.
He held it there; it was a bridge to which his feeling would pass on. He could only hope Kit understood how he felt, how much he wanted this and yet how much he held back and for how long, or maybe Kit just felt his lips and that was it. Maybe this wasn’t anything but flirting and Kit didn’t feel the same. Zeke’s own head was playing with him. When he was running out of air he pulled away. “Kit…” He said quietly. He kissed him with a little more force. It felt so nice, so nice to finally be able to kiss him after so long. Yet that feeling of worry struck only to be flooded back by Zeke’s passion. It made no sense though, for him to feel this way so young, he couldn’t help but think maybe this was all false. Then again maybe he was over thinking a simple kiss.
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Post by Kit Livingston on Apr 17, 2010 23:35:33 GMT
Kit felt the kisses, felt that they were filled with something tender and strong, something so strong that it scared him. Terrified him, in fact, and so he kissed back harder, just to try to block it out with lust. It was fast, and that was the way he liked it. It hurt, and he needed that. Mindless, emotionless, rushed, block out the world before it takes over.
But he couldn't keep up, he could feel his mind snapping. He was breaking his boyfriend apart and Zeke didn't even realise, and the voices telling him that it was wrong were screaming louder and louder, the hint at a beard was scratching as he kissed and reminding him how out of place this was. He pulled back, his body shaking but still close to Zeke, feeling tears and screaming and pain ready to break out. "Zeke..." he breathed, his words barely recognisable from shaking so much. "I... I can't..." [/blockquote]
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Post by Zeke James Vasser on Apr 17, 2010 23:46:16 GMT
While Zeke wanted something more than this, something with meaning, Kit’s action showed that he wanted quick and cheap love. Something fast with no emotion and in a way it made Zeke felt bad, that what he tried to get through to Kit didn’t work. That he was just a body, just a pair of lips. Maybe he really didn’t mean anything to Kit after all. He felt the sudden break and his shaking.
Zeke was worried something happened but he was quiet just pulling his closer letting whatever needed to come out, come out. It was sad, Zeke was beginning to see that he had no special place in Kit’s heart but he didn’t want to let go, he didn’t want this to end even if it ended up hurting him in the end. “It’s ok Kit…” He mumbled quietly. “Just take some time…I can…” He didn’t complete the sentence knowing how many times he’s said it, and how long he really did wait for Kit. How long it would take until Zeke wasn’t a boy and was Kit’s boyfriend. How long it would take for Zeke to get into Kit’s heart and be something special then where they we’re now. The thunder struck again as he felt slightly empty inside. He knew things were always too good to be true.
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Post by Kit Livingston on Apr 17, 2010 23:56:18 GMT
Kit looked down, unable to look at Zeke as the swarming guilt rushed over him. He wanted to give him everything, to make sure that he would always be happy, to protect him from the harsh reality. He wanted to tear off a part of himself, to let Zeke always have the part that loved him. Deep down, he cared for Zeke, felt what he felt in some ways. But if that was love, then Kit loved everyone.
He was still shaking slightly, trying to piece himself up, try to force himself to make it hurt to make it heal. "Zeke..." he said slowly, turning to him. It was clear that it was really hurting him, the empathy hurt more than he'd ever been hurt before. "Zeke, please stop waiting for me," he whispered sharply, instantly knowing it was the right thing to say. It hurt him because Zeke cared so much, and it was essentially why he knew he wasn't the one. He couldn't be with someone he could hurt so easily, someone that he meant that much to. And he could never give Zeke as much as he gave him, leaving Kit feeling cheap and like he was taking advantage.
He looked down, and looked away. Would it hurt or help to say that he really cared? He didn't dare it, didn't dare saying anything more. [/font]
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Post by Zeke James Vasser on Apr 18, 2010 0:19:18 GMT
Zeke held him tightly wanting the shaking to stop as Kit desperately tried to regain himself. He had to be his rock, his hope. But in the end he wasn’t. His words stung and finally made reality that Zeke could wait for eternity and nothing would happen. Zeke blinked a few times unsure what to say. “It’s…it’s all I know how to do.” He said quietly. “I…can’t just stop Kit. I guess I know I can wait eternity for nothing.” He said looking at the wall. “Because I guess it’s just not going to happen no matter how long I wait.” Zeke blinked his thoughts fading in and out. “And the sad part is I don’t know when to stop and I don’t want to. It’s pathetic.” He said giving off a dry and slightly sad laugh.
“You can’t just tell me to stop because I won’t. It’s too late for that.” He said quietly loosening his hold on Kit. It was quiet all over again the rain hitting his window as it had the whole time. He sat there with Kit’s still in his arms reality hitting him a little too hard as he could feel himself wanting to break down. However he wasn’t the person to do it in front of people much less Kit so he sucked it up feeling himself shaking a bit but even that wasn’t too great he just hoped Kit didn’t notice. “I’ll leave…if you want me too.” He said quietly.
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