|
|
Post by Kit Livingston on Jan 15, 2010 2:21:54 GMT
Kit sat in the boys main room, leaning in front of the fire as he waited for it to heat him. It had seemed impossibly cold the last few days, especially since he had been trailing around outside so often. It had begun snowing again today, as he found to his misfortune when he was in Crastyl. He had been wearing his old trainers, which had left his feet soaking and sending a chill through his entire body. Now, he desperately fought to get the chill away.
But he knew the cold wasn't just from the weather. He looked down at his phone, closing his eyes as he saw there were still no new texts; or at least none from the right person. He sighed, putting his phone away quickly, hoping he could throw away his thoughts so quickly.
This is ridiculous.... he told himself shortly. He had never been homophobic before, having always respected others choice for being with whoever they wanted. He did, however, find that he had a problem facing it alone. He wasn't strong enough, not even certain in his feelings enough to have to fight the questions that were bound to come. Kit wasn't gay... just crazy for Zeke.
|
|
|
|
Post by Brynn Ciel Devereux on Jan 15, 2010 3:00:37 GMT
Brynn found his way into the boy main room. Nothing particularly special had happened in the past few days. After the tweaking of Zeke's memory he had been shut up in his room for a while. However he was still the same Zeke. He walked downstairs heading toward the fire to warm himself up a bit. Another boy was there; upon closer look he recognized it as Kit. Just the person he needed to see. "Hey Kit..." He said sitting in a chair nearby. "Uhm, have you heard from Zeke at all?" He asked quietly.
This might not have been the time to say something, but Brynn really needed to explain this to Kit so that way he understood.
|
|
|
|
Post by Kit Livingston on Jan 15, 2010 3:01:22 GMT
He looked up suddenly, seeing Brynn standing over him. His heart almost flipped as he heard his name from another boy, but sunk back down with a crushing fall as he saw it wasn't Zeke, slipping even further as Brynn mentioned the boys name. "Hey," he said shortly, insisting on giving a police greeting while he tried to decide if he was going to answer his question or not. It seemed petty and foolish to not say anything, even if it was the more tempting offer. "Not since..." he looked away, pausing as he wasn't sure of how much Brynn knew, or how much he was allowed to say. "...a couple of days ago?" he finished with a shrug, pretending that the hesitation had been his trying to remember how long it had been.
Had it really only been a few days? It had felt like a lifetime. As he remembered, he itched to check his phone again, even though he knew there would be no reply. He resisted, however, keeping an eye on his company. "Why do you ask?"
|
|
|
|
Post by Brynn Ciel Devereux on Jan 15, 2010 3:15:57 GMT
Brynn didn't hesitate in getting to the point. "I need to tell you something..." He said giving a sigh. "Zeke told me what happened...and well he needed my help to fix it, so I did." He said quietly looking down. "I rearranged some parts of his memory with uhm this talent I have." He said looking up at Kit with a serious look. "And well he told me to do it and I did, but he told me to specifically get rid of the memory that made him...like you." Brynn looked away. "So I did, now he still remembers you as his friend, he just doesn't well like you any more than that now. He told me it was for the better and now you can be friends again." Brynn looked at him. "I didn't want to but he asked me too..." He finished quietly.
|
|
|
|
Post by Kit Livingston on Jan 15, 2010 3:25:58 GMT
He looked at Brynn, looks of worry, confusion and anger flowing through his expressions at the right points. "You what....?" he breathed, though he understood exactly what was happening. He looked at Brynn with glassy eyes, a voice in his mind telling him that this was salvation, that this was for the better and that he too could forget all about liking Zeke back. He was about to give into the sords, when he shook them off, an unusual anger spreading through his body. "You did what?" he said, his voice suddenly short and sharp, or at least attempting to be. Kit really didn't have quite enough experience in being harsh to ever come across as anything even remotely similar to it. "W-why didn't you just say no? So what now, we're meant to just go back to being friends until this happens all over again?!" he said, his voice shaking a little, and a little louder than he would have wanted.
He turned away, suddenly aware of his explosion and feeling guilt pouring into the gap where the anger had evapourated, stinging and burning as it ran through her. "Sorry..." he apologised quickly to Brynn. "Just..." He tried to finish his sentence, the only 'word' to describe what he wanted to say was a sigh. He shook his head, unable to look at him.
|
|
|
|
Post by Brynn Ciel Devereux on Jan 15, 2010 3:34:49 GMT
Brynn shrunk back in his seat easily shaking off the outburst. Anyone would react like that. He wasn't planning to apologize for doing it though. It was what Zeke wanted. "Well, why does it matter if you're just friends, that’s what you wanted from the beginning right? That's what Zeke said, he said you just wanted to be friends and he wanted more, that's why he came to me." Brynn looked at him softly. "Of course unless as I thought...you do like him." Brynn gave a coy smile looking into the fire.
|
|
|
|
Post by Kit Livingston on Jan 15, 2010 3:42:52 GMT
He turned stiffly back to the fire, his lips drawn tightly as he leaned into the fire, refusing to look at Brynn. They always said that you could tell if someone was lying by looking into their eyes, so Kit refused to give Brynn that chance. "Zeke should get his head examined..." he said softly.
He instantly regretting it as he closed his eyes tightly. Why was he lashing out at his friends so much? "I didn't mean that..." he corrected quickly in a soft voice, barely heard, as he looked up at Brynn. Brynn didn't seem all too different from himself, in many ways. He didn't seem stronger or tougher, with no more friends or any more support than Kit would have gotten. Then how did he have the strength to come out? Kit wondered. He sighed, "I am straight...." he said quietly but clearly, mostly as if he was trying to convince himself.
He sighed, looking back to the fire, "Do you mind if I ask you a question, Brynn? A possibly personal one...?" he asked, not quite willing to look at him in case his resolve broke at the wrong time.
|
|
|
|
Post by Brynn Ciel Devereux on Jan 16, 2010 1:45:42 GMT
Brynn sat there staring into the fire ignoring the still emotion masked words come out of Kit's mouth. He was patient listening to him. Until, on a more serious note, Kit spoke up. Brynn looked up and over at him giving a quizzical look to him. "Uhm, I suppose so Kit, shoot." He said turning back to the blaze in front of the two.
|
|
|
|
Post by Kit Livingston on Jan 16, 2010 1:53:49 GMT
He looked into the flames, and then was suddenly unable to take their brightness, turning away from everything as his eyes blurred, trying to concentrate on the question; there had been so many that he had wanted to ask, but now he was suddenly faced with the opportunity they all flew away. He closed his eyes, desperately trying to think of at least one.
".... what was it like when you came out?" he asked. It was the only question that he could think of that was vaguely relevant, and would come close to the tangle of information that he would have to work out. Basically, he wanted to know what that world was like, if it was as terrible as people had always made out it was, if those against them really hurt them.
|
|
|
|
Post by Brynn Ciel Devereux on Jan 16, 2010 2:15:13 GMT
Brynn was a little shocked to tell the truth, nonetheless he didn't mind the question. "Came out huh..." He said quietly. "Uhm I don't know it varies with people, but for me it wasn't too bad." He said quietly. "My mom accepted it with open arms, she wanted a girl anyways, my dad didn't take it all to well." Brynn looked sideways. "As for school, girls don't really mind as much as the guys do, but you'd be surprised at how accepting people can be." Brynn smiled. "And so far no one ahs beaten me up." He laughed a bit even though it was no laughing matter. "Why?" He asked Kit quietly trying to pry what he already knew.
|
|
|
|
Post by Kit Livingston on Jan 16, 2010 2:23:19 GMT
He shrugged, smiling a little. His words seemed to make sense, not too diluted and naive but still with a strict sense of realism. It had been exactly what he had wanted to hear, but it was still hard to accept. He looked down, muttering under his breath something about wanting to know what it had been like for Zeke.
He looked back up at Brynn, realising that his words weren't being believed, but still wanting to keep up the pretence, if only for a little longer. "Do you... think its possible for a guy to be straight and to like another guy?" he asked, a question that had been burning through him ever since the feelings began. He felt straight, he felt no love for men and the words 'I'm gay' felt like a cruel lie in his own ears. But to admit to feelings with Zeke, even if he didn't know what to do with them, felt like a cold raw truth.
|
|
|
|
Post by Brynn Ciel Devereux on Jan 16, 2010 2:29:00 GMT
Bingo. Brynn was sure now that Kit liked Zeke. "Uhm, yes it's very possible." Brynn smiled fumbling with his fingers. "It's called being bisexual, or pansexual." He said looking at the ceiling. "Pansexual is basically liking whoever you're attracted too regardless of gender." He said looking over at Kit with a smile. It was quiet. Brynn brought up what he thought should be done. "I can fix Zeke..." He said quietly. "But it might take months, years even." He said looking down. "I need to find the memories in his heart, and that is near impossible, then reconnect them, which is the easy part." Brynn looked at Kit. "But there is any easier way."
|
|
|
|
Post by Kit Livingston on Jan 16, 2010 2:37:02 GMT
Kit shook his head at Brynn's explanations, "I don't mean bisexual or anything like that..." he said softly, his voice shaking a little, and rising and falling where he didn't want it to, "I mean someone that doesn't like guys to like a guy." he said, looking at Brynn as he felt his body losing its energy, somehow sinking out of his body and leaving him running completely on the adrenaline. There was no point in hiding anything anymore, "I don't like guys Brynn - no offence, but it kind of creeps me out. But somehow in my head... Zeke's just not a guy," he said, looking down, "And I think if I thought of him as one then I wouldn't...." he turned away, able to admit everything but those words.
"I just... I don't want to feel like I'm going to be around this big secret when he doesn't even know about it," he said softly, "I think it was a stupid mistake, regardless of how I feel." he shook his head, "Why can't we just tell him? Wouldn't that make him remember?" Kit asked, hoping that if it came down to that then he wouldn't be the one delivering the news.
|
|
|
|
Post by Brynn Ciel Devereux on Jan 16, 2010 2:48:22 GMT
Brynn thought for a few minutes. "I don't what it is then..." He said looking at his fingers. "Maybe it's love." He said quietly." Anyways about fixing it, if we tell him he won't believe me, I erased the memory of altering his memory." Brynn said a bit sorry he made things so complicated. "The only way to bring back the memory is by getting his to like you or saying you like him, basically whatever made the memory in the first place." Brynn said tentatively. "Or wait a few years for me to fix him..." Brynn shrugged.
|
|
|
|
Post by Kit Livingston on Jan 16, 2010 2:57:37 GMT
He at Brynn, hardly able to believe what he was saying, half believing that Brynn was just trying to play matchmaker between the two, and that the situation was much more simple than he was letting him think. Either way, it didn't seem like he had much choice. Which would be the lesser of two evils?
He stood slowly, "I guess you better start soon, then," he said slowly, pulling himself off the chair. Brynn wasn't right, he couldn't be in love. If he was, would Kit have really let his love live in ignorance, waiting for the day for the memories to come back if they did at all? He couldn't love Zeke, and knew that one day he would look at him and just see a man, and it would all be over. He hoped that day would come sooner rather than later. "Thanks for the help," he told Brynn, trying to sound sincere though a slightly bitter tone ran through his words before he could stop them, and he just wanted to be away before he said anymore.
-fini-
|
|
