Hate is a strong word.. [Zane?}

[Kurt Casper]

"STUPID, GOOD FOR NOTHING, STRAIGHT CUNT!" Kurt screamed, kicking the wall. And oh, it felt so good. He punched it, again and again until he felt his knuckles break, one right after the other. And still he continued to punch, until his hands grew bloody and magled. And still he didnt stop. He wouldnt stop until his hands fell off. He would make sure of that. He kicked over the side table, smiling as the lamp his mother gave him shattered into a million pieces. Oh, what satisfaction this was.

"This is YOUR fault! YOUR fault!" He screamed at the lamp shards. "I WOULDNT HAVE MET HIS SISSY ASS IF YOU HADNT'A SENT ME HERE! I bet you would just LOVE to know how your plan is BACKFIRING IN YOUR FACE, you wench!"

He kicked the lamp base. He smirked as it hit the wall, bouncing back at him but falling short. He kicked it again again and again, as if it were a soccer ball. He looked down at his bloody hands, caring less about his well being.

"THIS IS YOUR FAULT! ARE YOU HAPPY NOW?! I BLAME YOU! YOU RUINED MY LIFE! YOU SENT ME HERE!" He screamed louder, his throat growing raw.

[Zane Heian Vasser]

Zane was sitting in the boy’s den reading a book. It was quite enthralling as well. A lot of the boys were out and not many were in the building. In fact the main room was empty. Zane turned a page hearing a crashing noise from the rooms. He blinked ignoring it but after a few more noises that sounded as if someone was destroying a room, he got up to check it out.

Zane slowly crept up the stairs. His mind was elsewhere, still dwelling on Kurt, the boy he met at the harbor. He reached the noise hearing screaming from the half open door. He didn't understand what it meant. He walked up pushing the door open seeing the boy bleeding in a fit of rage. Maybe this wasn't the best time to be here. Zane blinked shocked speaking up. "Well this isn't the best way to get rid of anger." He said quietly stepping forward. He was cautious of the boy unsure what he'd do. "You'll bleed to death." He said grabbing his hand gently taking out a small mint green stone as it glowed sending cold light on his fingers healing the skin and cells as bone began moving into correct places, he did this with the other hand.

He stepped back. Zane looked around. "Look this doesn't change any of what we made at the harbor." He said quietly. "I still hate you and you still hate me, now let's just avoid each other." He said rather snidely, instead it came out more calm and smooth than he wanted.

[Kurt Casper]

"Bastard! You did this! This is your fault! As much as it is my mothers!" Kurt screamed at the boy, then looked down at his hands. So much for his plan. Feeling the boys hand on his made his heart race, and when he took them back, Kurt felt empty. Kurt pushed him away, not hard enough to hurt him, but hard enough to knock him back onto the bed.

"I hate you more than Ive hated anyone in my LIFE!" He screamed at him, walking over to him and looking down at the boy. One part of Kurt wanted to pin him to the bed and show him how he really felt -drown him in kisses- but the other part wanted to knock his teeth out for making him feel that way in the first place.

"You ruined everything!" He screamed hoarsly, backing away from the boy.

[Zane Heian Vasser]

The words bounced off him. He knew that first was rage then sadness. "Look here, I didn't do anything to you." He said rather calmly. "And I don't know your mother so I can't say anything for her. But it seems whatever happened, happened and you can't change it now." He said looking down. He was on his elbows on the bed. It felt strange to be handled like that, for that one quick second he had wanted Kurt to pin him down and...oh god.

He wasn’t thinking this, he couldn't have. Zane shook his head slightly.

I need to get out of here before I attack him myself.

"Look, I came her to see what the noise was." He said standing up. "Sorry for doing nothing to ruin your life." He said looking sideways

[Kurt Casper]

Kurt eyed him cautiously, not wanting him to go, but not wanting him to stay either. This boy really didnt know, did he? He didnt know that everytime he looked at Kurt, his heart skipped a beat. Everytime Kurt saw him, he couldnt breathe. Every thought Kurt thought was about the boy. He couldnt even eat his apple today at lunch, the fruit making him sick with butterflies by just looking at it. This boy really didnt know that Kurt was falling for him, slowly but surely.

"You really have no idea, do you, Zane?" He mumbled quietly, his breath catching in his throat as thoughts raced through his mind, raced back to Zane. His name felt sweet on his lips, made him sick with butterflies all over again. Kurts eyes caught Zanes and he just couldnt pull himself away. No, not this time.

[Zane Heian Vasser]

There was strange silence as both of them went through a short thinking process. Zane wanted to be touch by him, to be his only. It was strange to fall so quick and hard, especially when it was only chemicals doing this. It was stupid there isn't such a thing as love and he wouldn't have it for someone he just met.

He blinked wondering now if maybe Kurt felt the same there weren't many ways to find out. "I don't think I have an idea, maybe you can show me through action." He said taking a step forward. I was practically an invite. He didn't mean to say it but something else was controlling his body.

[Kurt Casper]

Kurts eyes widedened slightly, amazed at the boys words. Did he mean this, or was he just playing him? Kurt didnt know, but he stepped forward, wrapping his arms around the boys waist. He wondered if what he was doing was wrong, if really showing Zane how he felf was just spelling out his own doom. He wondered if it was worth it, embarassing himself, letting his gaurd down just so this boy would know his true feelings. He was sure the boy didnt feel the same, would push him away and run off. But then again, he had no way to know, unless he made a move. Kurt looked down at him, then pressed his lips to the boys gently, his hands pressing to the small of Zanes back and pulling him closer. His hands moved to the back of Zanes neck, as he pressed himself closer, his tounge pressing at the back of his own teeth.

[Zane Heian Vasser]

Zane looked down blushing a bit trying to wipe it away as Kurt took him by the waist. He tried not to show weakness but melted at his touch these chemicals working like crazy. He could feel his face move up and a kiss placed on his lips. He was pulled closer his body heating up like crazy his eyes burning from being closed so tight. But he eased up enjoying the kiss. His eyes fluttered open. His hands found there way around Kurt's torso. He felt light his face still a bit red.

No...He lost.

Zane pulled away looking sideways. "No..." He said quietly. "I can't this is...I don't..." He broke from Kurt's embrace. "This isn't happening, this isn't real. I can't love, love isn't even real." He looked up at Kurt a slightly crazed and confused look in his eyes. "No no no these are just chemicals in my brain there is no such thing as love." He was backing away from Kurt. "So why do you make me feel so warm? I can't lose this quick, not this easily." His eyes darted back and forth as he could feel himself falling piece by piece desperately trying to pick up the pieces.

[Kurt Casper]

Kurt reached out to Zane, then quickly pulled his hand back, the way a child would over a pot of hot boiling water. He pulled it to his chest, his fingers curled into a fist. This wasnt happening. This couldnt be happening. Kurt felt tears sting at his eyes, the boy feeling more and more like a traitor the more Kurt looked at him. He dropped his eyes, his throat burning.

So, why did you do it? When you knew it wouldnt work. You knew he wouldnt love you.. No one has.. No one will.. he thought, his eyes moving back and forth as he looked down at his feet. They were cut, but he didnt care.

"J-Just go, Zane.." He murmured, turning away from him. He dropped to his knees, picking up the shards of glass, the element cutting into his palms. But he didnt care.

The lamp wasnt the only thing that was broken...

[Zane Heian Vasser]

Zane couldn't hear Kurt behind his head. Everything was spinning out of control. "I don't understand..." He was muttering to himself. "I can't love anyone, it's not me I can't I cant..." He said quietly somehow having Kurt's words break through his mind and register. He looked up at the slightly broken Kurt. He felt awful, and hurt. "Kurt, no it's not you please..." He said trying to get his words out.

"It's me...it's me, I can't love, I promised myself I wouldn't and you broke that promise so easily." He said quietly. "I just don't understand why it feels so different when you kissed me, it wasn't like a chemical reaction, it was like...I don't know it was perfect. Like something unnatural." He said hugging his knees. "I'm just confused with myself now." He said looking down. He was opening up too quickly these walls he put up falling down and his cool nature and quiet mouth going out the window as he shattered. "I don't get any of this...just explain it to me please!" He said a bit louder. "What is this? What is it...what...it." His words got quieter as he kept talking.

He should leave just get out of here and stop hurting Kurt.

[Kurt Casper]

Kurt looked up at him, his breath being taken away again by the boy.

"Zane, I dont know how to explain it. I dont know any words that could take it away.. But, Zane.. Dont leave. Dont go, please.. Y-you cant.. I.. Zane, this is as unusual a place for you as it is for me.. So why not stay and we figure this out together? Maybe its not love, Zane.. But its pretty damn close." Kurt reached up for him, then he pulled his hand back. He didnt know what to say, didnt know what to do. So he did the first thing that came to mind.

"Zane.. I-Im falling for you.. And no, I dont want to. Because Im afraid of getting hurt again, like what my mother did to me.. And I know I shouldnt, but I trust you.. Y-You take my breath away.. You make it so hard to breathe, Zane, and you dont even have to do anything. I-I could drown in you, just looking in your eyes. And the butterflies.. They dont go away, when Im around you.. I cant get you off my mind.." He stammered, the words just falling out of his mouth. He didnt understand why he was spilling his heart to this boy, knowing it would only bring hurt.

[Zane Heian Vasser]

Zane was silently shaking with some sobs. "Love?" He said thoughtfully. "I thought love was just reaction in the brain." He said quietly. It was quiet as he hugged himself quietly hearing Kurt's sweet words. His sobs stopped as he looked up at him. He blinked a few tears spilling over. "I..." He didn't know what to say.

They sat there for a while as he just scanned Kurt's face for a joke. Love, Kurt loved him. Love was just something he couldn't understand, something that didn't make sense to him. "Kurt I don't know if that’s how I feel but I feel something special." He said quietly. Everything was silent in the room. "K..Kurt...I'm cold." He mumbled quietly.

[Kurt Casper]

Kurt reached for the boy, pulling him into his lap. Kurt wrapped his arms around Zane, not wanting to let go, but not wanting to hurt him either. He rubbed his back, looking down into his lap. This boy probably would never understand just how badly Kurt wanted him to be his, how big of an impact he had really made on Kurt. And that hurt Kurt a bit. He pulled him closer, burrying his face in the boys neck, not wanting him to see the tears that slipped down his cheeks slowly. He didnt want him to see him so weak and vunerable.

Kurt looked away from Zane, his head on his shoulder. He held him close, wondering what this meant to Zane, wondering what HE meant to Kurt.

"Probably nothing.." He mumbled, barely realizing he had spoken outloud.

[Zane Heian Vasser]

He felt warm and secure in his arms. Like they hadn't just met days ago. He could feel Kurt's tears as he returned the hug. "No, everything..." He said quietly. "I know we just met, but I guess the whole love at first site thing happens." He said smiling slightly. He wanted to stay here, for the night. He pulled back looking up at Kurt. He leaned forward pressing his lips against Kurt's rather awkwardly but it soon meld with Kurt's lips.

"Can I stay here tonight...?" He asked quietly.

[Kurt Casper]

Kurt wiped his cheeks quickly, before he felt the boys lips on his. Kurt slipped his hand into Zanes hair, amazed at how soft it was. Kurt pressed closer, then pulled away, afraid the boy would go.

"Y-Yeah.. Theres a spare bed.. Well, Im lying, theres not. Its just me.. They kinda secluded me.. But Ill take the floor. You can have the bed." He said with a smile, brushing Zanes hair back from his forehead. Kurt leaned down, kissing the top of the boys head before picking him up and placing him on the bed. He sweeped the glass shards into a dustpan and emptied it into the trash. He pulled some blankets out of the closet, laying them down on the floor before grabbing a pillow. He tossed an extra blanket to Zane, knowing the room got a little chilly at night. He figured the boy wanted to sleep alone. So Kurt would take the floor.

"Its not bedtime yet, baby. What do you wanna do?" Kurt asked, looking up at the boy on his bed.