So many reasons why.. [Bexi}

["Bexi" Leggert]

Bexi folded her arms across her chest, looking at the boy carefully. How could he care so little about his own self-worth? Bexi felt like shaking him, slapping him for being so selfish. He had everything Bexi had ever wanted, and it broke her heart to see him not even appreciating it.

"I-" she was about to make a comment about this, when she heard his question. She blinked several times at the sudden change in topic. "Uh... Yeah, Bexi is me. How'd you know?" she said suddenly, resisting the urge to make a superhero/alias joke.

[/blockquote]

[Lester 'Les' Nicholson]

Lester felt like breaking down and crying. But he knew he couldnt.

"Youre the girl Shaun likes, arent you? She needs you.." He told her, pushing his hands in his pockets. He didnt wanna tell her anything, but knew she should probably know. And she needed to hear it from Shaun.

"Shes probably under the tree in the garden... We should go look for her.. Something bad happened, okay? And she needs you. So dont be an ass like Ehren and pretend its okay. Because its not."

He looked down at his feet, then back at her. "Are we going to look for her or not?"

["Bexi" Leggert]

Bexi looked at Les, her smile dropping only a fraction before she put it back up again. It was impossible for her to be unhappy, and if it ever did happen the weight of everything would probably crush her. "Shaun... needs me?" she asked, shaking her head but still walking out of the door, waiting patiently for Les to lead the way. She knew this meant things had gotten too far, that the poor girl had fallen too hard for her. Hopefully it was just a broken heart; those could be fixed with a little bit of time and a lot of chocolate. Apparently. Bexi wasn't too sure - she had never let herself get close enough to anyone to suffer from that pain. "Howay, man!" she called him, her accent suddenly like a thicker version of Diane's, using her local dialect and so translating it; "Hurry up, already!"

[/blockquote]

[Lester 'Les' Nicholson]

Lester growled, shutting the door behind him.

"Chill, woman. Im coming. Im coming." He told her, locking the door with his key before walking outside. He looked at the tree, unsurprised that she was curled up underneath it. People tended to return to places of comfort.

"Hey, Shaunie. Whatcha doin'?" He asked her, sitting down beside her. He looked down. What was she doing?

"Watching the ants? Arent they cool?" He smiled at her, hugging her tightly.

[Shaun Garton]

Shaun smiled for the first time in days, watching the ants around her feet.

"Theyre like little people, Lester! Little people! They walk in a line, and carry things. Where do they go, Lester? Do they have a home?" She asked him, then realized someone was behind him. Her heart dropped to her feet.

She quickly covered her stomach with her arms, pulling her feet closer as she looked away, tears falling down her cheeks again.

"Lester, I dont wanna tell her, okay?" She pleaded with him, hugging herself tightly.

["Bexi" Leggert]

Bexi crouched down, looking at the ants all around them, crawling along the ground, temporarily ignoring her crying in an attempt to calm her down, without the awkwardness of making it all about telling her secret. "They're going back to the hive. It's crawlin' with 'em. An' they take the food back to the breeders, and make their place bigger. You never seen Antz?" she asked with a small smile, still crouched in front of her.

She didn't want to bridge the distance between them. It seemed foolish, childish to try and hold onto something that she couldn't feel, and harsh to drag Shaun along. She told herself she was just protecting Shaun. "Hey, its OK, you don't need to tell me nuffin' you don't wanna. Although... bare in mind that I did tell you of my... alias," she said with a smile, her eyes pointing at Les to show that she didn't really want to talk about it around him. "So... yeah. Secrets are always safe with me, assumin' mine is."

[Shaun Garton]

Shaun looked over at her. A hive? That was where they lived?

"Bexi..? I.. T-theres a baby.. I-in here.." she said, pointing to her stomach. She looked down, still amazed that that was how babies were grown. And it scared her. She didnt want a baby. But she didnt want to kill it either.

"I-I was raped.. I dont remember when.. Lester said it was monday.. But I dont remember. Bexi, please dont hate me.. I.. I didnt tell him he could.. I didnt.. I-I want to be with you.. I dont want anyone else, okay? Its not my fault... H-he just hurt me.. And now Im having a baby.."

Shaun reached out for her, wanting to be held like Lester had.

["Bexi" Leggert]

Bexi looked at Shaun, giving her sympathetic smiles as she took her hand and then slid forwards, taking a seat against the tree next to her as she took in the information, looking down at the girl's hand in hers. "Why do people always think its the victims fault with rape...?" she said slowly, not really paying much attention to her own words as she looked at the hand in hers. "It's stupid, really. Who can blame you for being hurt? Intentions are always what should be put on to judge..."

She sighed, putting her head against the tree trunk. So, Shaun was pregnant, and obviously still very much in love with Bexi. Things weren't looking so well. Even the happily ever after had a six year old - or more than likely less - child watching its second mother die. Not that Bexi could think like that. "It's tough, kiddo," she said with a sigh, realising just how young Shaun really was. Far too young for any of this. "And now you've gotta choose what to do," she said, turning back to Shaun.

[/blockquote]

[Shaun Garton]

Shaun held her hand closer, clinging to it with both of hers. Her sobs had stopped, but tears still fell down her pale cheeks.

"Theres not much else to do, Bexi. Im going to be raising a baby on my own. Im not killing it, Im not giving it to someone who isnt going to want it. I-its just going to be me and my baby, I guess.." She looked down, then pulled her hands away. She stood, wringing her hands together in her shirt.

"S-sorry.." She mumbled, looking down at Lester. She knew he had offered to take care if it, to support it. And he shouldnt have to. Shaun should.

"Im going to love it regardless. Its my baby.." She stuffed her hands in her pockets. "I.. I think Im going to go get something to eat. I think its hungry.."

["Bexi" Leggert]

Bexi looked up at Shaun, and then turned away. There was no way that a pregnant woman should be going through that stress, even if she had only been pregnant less than a week. It would take a while for it to be real. A few weeks to be sure that it wasn't just a fluke and that it was stable, a few months before she even started showing symptoms. Who knew when Bexi would really come to terms that the baby wasn't leaving?

"Shaun, wait..." she said slowly, pulling herself up. But then she was lost; what else could she say? "You need any help... Apparently I've, uh, kinda got a magic touch with kids. I'd like to help you out, if I can..." she asked slowly, holding herself with a small smile. She didn't want to admit it, but now the idea was in her head it refused to leave. Here Shaun was having what she always wanted, a chance for a child. She wanted to live every step as if it was her own. She needed this chance, to be there for Shaun, even though it would come around to hurt all of them.

[Shaun Garton]

Shaun shook her head. Somehow, Bexi offering to 'help' hurt Shaun more than what Ehren had done to her.

"Ill be fine.." She told her, reaching out to touch her cheek. She didnt want to tell Bexi that there was a chance she would die in childbirth, like her mother had. She didnt want to tell Bexi that she might not be able to carry a baby, that the baby itself might kill Shaun. She didnt want to tell Bexi that in reality, she wanted Bexi to be here for this baby more than she wanted to be there herself. She didnt want to tell Bexi she loved her..

"Really. I think I can handle this."

If worst comes to worst, Ill die.. But really. Who would miss me? She thought. She pulled her hand back, looking down at her bare feet.

[Lester 'Les' Nicholson]

Lester looked up at Bexi, feeling like a third wheel. He tapped her leg, catching her attention long enough to mouth 'she really does love you' before standing up.

"I really need to go change, okay? This dirt stuck to the seat of my pants sure aint lookin' like dirt. Ill catch you two later." He kissed Shauns forehead, checking more for a fever than showing affection to her. He didnt want her, that was for sure. He wanted to help her. Even a blind man could see how hard Shaun had fallen for this girl. And if Bexi knew what was good for her, she'd be there to catch her, and love her back. Because the frail girl looking up helplessly at Bexi, the frail girl so love sick about Bexi could give Bexi more than she probably realized. And it hurt Lester to see that Bexi didnt really love Shaun like Shaun wanted -needed- her to.

Bexi might not realize it, but Shaun and this baby were only surviving on Shauns hope that one day -if she tried really hard- that Bexi would love her. And one small slip could send them both crashing.

"Bye Shaunie. Bexi. Take care. And drink that water like I told you." He said, tucking Shaun hair behind her ear, smiling as she smiled up at him. Then he turned and left them both alone, to sort out what they would do about this.

[Shaun Garton]

Shaun smiled over at Lester, watching him leave. He was entirely too kind to her, talking to her at three o'clock in the morning when she called him, crying, because she thought Ehren was coming back; buying her countless bottles of water, because he knew she cried entirely too much; even buying her a little green onesie and laying it on her tummy, jokingly telling her 'I think itll fit perfect!', when in reality, he had just wanted to be the first person to buy her baby something, to show her how everything will be okay.

'My mommy's amazing!' the small green suit had proclaimed. And the little green socks were even cuter. Shaun had them tucked away in her dresser, in the drawer she had cleared out for the baby. It still seemed like a dream. But even though her mind told her this could have a terrible aftermath, Shauns heart told her it was the best thing to ever happen to her.

And the only thing that could possibly top that would be Bexi loving her.

"Do you wanna see what Lester got me?" She asked Bexi, slipping her fingers between hers. She looked down, thinking they fit perfectly. Then she pulled it back quickly, holding it close to her chest, thinking that was possibly the most awful thing she had ever done. Not because she didnt want to hold Bexis hand, but because she was in love with a girl who didnt want her. Or her baby.

"N-nevermind.. Its nothing.." She said, sitting back down to marvel at the ants.

["Bexi" Leggert]

Bexi looked at Shaun, realising that although it didn't seem like it at first, perhaps a baby was a good plan. It was going to be difficult, there was no denying that, but Shaun seemed genuinely interested in watching over the infant. She had spent so many times in the hospital, so many nights watching mothers screaming at children or pregnant women complaining that they just couldn't care enough to stop smoking. But, every so often, someone like Shaun would come along, someone who by all rights should be hating the new life that was threatening to ruin her own, and yet didn't.

"Shaun, what about your folks? Siblings, aunty, uncle, anyone that can help you out? You have them to help, right?" she asked. "I mean, I can tell you're wanting to look after it and all but... how old are you? Sixteen-ish? Hell, I'm almost nineteen and I'd still be needing all the support I could get. An' a school ain't exactly the best of places for a baby, especially with everything that's been goin' on and all. You know, murder, suicides, rape, fuck knows what else..." she looked at her softly, putting a hand on her shoulder. "I just want you to do it right if you're doing it at all, babes."

[/blockquote]

[Shaun Garton]

Just then, reality snapped into place. Bexi didnt love her. Bexi wouldnt love her. So she might as well give up. With a broken heart, she stood.

"Id rather be here with a baby then go back home and be hung for it. Thanks for your concern. I practically live on the streets, and no one, not even my aunt and uncle seem to care. They would laugh at the fact that Im having a baby. You know why? Because my mom died giving birth to me. And Id rather give this baby my life than go on living with the broken heart youve caused. I hope your happy, Bexi." She said, tears falling down her cheeks.

She pulled her phone from her pocket, the phone her aunt had bought her before leaving.

"If youll excuse me, I have a doctors appointment I cant pay for and a broken heart I cant fix." She said, brushing past her and shoving the phone back into her pocket.