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Post by Diane McLain on Dec 18, 2009 4:00:28 GMT
She laughed, pulling back but still not letting herself be free of her grip, and did nothing to loosen hers. "Just to clarify, you are Abigail, yeah? The shy girl that I had to convince to stay with me because two people were there?" she teased slightly, looking around and seeing how many people - mostly perverted men - were watching. Particularly Mathew, her spirit guide, was keeping a close eye.
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Post by probie on Dec 18, 2009 4:06:01 GMT
"'We've got a case of a love bipolar..'" she said with a laugh, quoting a Katy Perry song.
"Yes, baby. Im still Abigail. And who cares if theyre looking? Thisll make them look too.."
She pulled Diane close to her again, kissing up her neck, then her lips. She ran her hands through Diane's hair, loving how soft it was and how it just fell through her fingers. Her hands moved to Diane's sides, then to her back, taking in as much of her as she dared to. God, how she wished this wouldnt end.
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Post by Diane McLain on Dec 18, 2009 4:11:58 GMT
She smiled, feeling her lips and hands running over her, thinking just how intense this all was, her eyes wide to a whole host of new possibilties in front of her. What would her friends say? 'We knew it?' 'You're fooling yourself?' 'How dare you?'. She knew she shouldn't care, but it still bothered her. She looked at her, wanting just to hold her, just for a little. It was all so frightening and new, she just wanted to be held. She smiled sheepishly, knowing exactly what she needed. She pulled back, her fingertips running across the length of her arm before clutching her hand, bringing her forward to where she'd left her drink, taking another big sip.
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Post by probie on Dec 18, 2009 4:16:20 GMT
"Whats wrong? Having second thoughts?" she said, hugging herself. She herself was having second thoughts. What if you pushed her? Thats rape in some southern states, you know. Youre such an idiot! Look at what you did! You make me sick.. You should be ashamed of yourself. She shook her head, trying to make the voices shut up. But it only made them louder.
Its all about you, isnt it? You know she didnt want this! Youre such a jerk! You.. moron! Youre simply sickening!!
"Shut up.." she whispered to herself.
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Post by Diane McLain on Dec 18, 2009 4:19:39 GMT
She smiled, lowering her head and blushing, "It's not that..." she said, tucking her straighened hair behind her ear. "It's just..." she looked up to her, "It's nice, but this isn't just a kiss to me, Abigail. This is a whole life changing realisation I'm dealing with here." she held onto her hand, swinging it, "Just give me a little time to get adjusted?" she said, taking the opportunity to show that this meant no less for them by kissing her on the lips again.
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Post by probie on Dec 18, 2009 4:26:17 GMT
Abigail kissed her deeply then pulled away.
"Ive been bi since i could remember, but still. Its hard on me too.. Its all confusing.. I dont even know if were dating, if we should just leave it as this and go our seperate ways.." she said, standing. "Maybe I should leave. I could drive you home, if youd like. Well, Im not the one driving.. My chauffer is.. My step mom doesnt let me drive.."
She ran her hand nervously through her hair, and tugged at her dress with the other, trying to straighten out the wrinkles.
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Post by Diane McLain on Dec 18, 2009 17:09:22 GMT
She smiled, and held onto her hand, "stay," she begged, looking up into her eyes. "This is the most fun I've had in ages. I really like you." she said, smiling nervously, and standing up. "well... Abigial..." she said, nervously holding onto her, yet keeping a distance. "Will you...? Wait, did you say apartment?" she shook her head, clearing away the distracting thoughts. "Will you... Do you... Will you go out with me?"
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Post by probie on Dec 18, 2009 18:15:12 GMT
Abigail shook her head, saying 'no' hurting her more than she wanted to accept. This had to be the hardest thing that she'd ever done. And it was tearing her apart.
"Diane, no. You.. You need time to think about this- think about things. This really isnt what you want, I promise you that much. Whoever you were in love with before, -and probably still are in love with them, I dont know- dont hurt them on account of me. Im probably not the kind of person you want to be with.." she said, pushing up her sleeves and showing her scars for emphasis. "You dont want me, Diane. You dont want me. A-and as much as it kills me to tell you this, I dont want you to make a mistake by dating me. Someone out there can give you the world, baby. All I can give you is greif. And maybe a good time, you willing.
"You have no idea what Id give to be with you, Diane. Really, you dont. I want nothing more than to be with you. But you dont want this. You dont want to be tied down with someone like me. You dont want to have to look at me and when someone asks you if thats your girlfriend, simply shrug and say yes, realizing that you didnt want this to begin with. Y-you know what you want, and its not me."
She wiped at her eye with the back of her hand. Remarkably, no make-up came off. Or smeared, for that matter.
And just because she really didnt want to let Diane go, she leaned down and kissed her for what she imagined would be the last time. She ignored the warm tears that trickled down her cheeks. All that mattered to her now was Diane. And making sure she was happy, even if it meant Abigail was miserable without her.
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Post by Diane McLain on Dec 18, 2009 19:50:11 GMT
She kissed her, but pulled back, unwilling to let a kiss patch all this up, "Abigail..." she said, slowly brushing away her tears. "Has anyone ever told you you take things way too seriously?" she said with a smile, hiding how hurt she was by the turning down, but understanding it meant so much more to her. She pinched her cheek, turning her head to one side. "I just want some fun, someone to hold, and I don't intend on cheating on you so yes, that's a relationship. I'm not asking you to marry me, or that we be surgically attached!" she said, laughing. "If it goes bad, we say like adults that we won't want it anymore." she said.
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Post by probie on Dec 18, 2009 19:54:55 GMT
Abigail shrugged.
"Its not like I dont want to be with you. Really I do.. But.. Well, To tell the truth, Im scared.. The.. The last guy I was with.. He raped me.." she mumbled, taking Dianes hand into her own and rubbing her thumb against Dianes.
"I..Im just afraid of being hurt again."
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Post by Diane McLain on Dec 18, 2009 20:01:06 GMT
She couldn't stop her mouth from opening slightly, holding her hands tightly. "Abigail..." she said, her voice strained, suddenly feeling like she should tip-toe around her. She looked down, looking at their hands, and the way they joined together so comfortably, "I won't hurt you." she said, looking up at her. "I know that's just that word, and it might not mean a lot, but... I can't hurt people. But sometimes life hurts. Sometimes... you've gotta take risks. And if you don't, he's won."
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Post by probie on Dec 18, 2009 20:07:51 GMT
"I know. I need to get my number changed." She said, forcing a smile.
"I know you wont hurt me. I trust you.." she said, wanting to pull Diane into her lap and hold her close. "Youre so beautiful, you know that?"
She caressed Dianes cheek with her thumb, gazing into her eyes. There was just something about Diane that was intoxicating to Abigail. Something that made her want to be around her constantly. And something else that made her want to avoid her. Maybe it was the fear that Diane would get sick of her.
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Post by Diane McLain on Dec 18, 2009 20:16:21 GMT
She smiled, suddenly self-conscious as she took Abigail's hand away from her cheek and into her own, "I don't want you doing anything you don't want, OK? If you're not comfy, just say and I'll go. But... sometimes you've just got to take what you want. Take what you want, lose what you don't. Be a bitch!" she said, smiling widely.
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Post by probie on Dec 18, 2009 20:19:56 GMT
Abigail laughed. Somehow, Diane always knew a way to make her feel better.
"I dont want to make you uncomfortable. If theres anything that Mr Carondelet has taught me, its that the person youre with always comes first. Maybe thats why he took advantage of me.." She bit her lip.
"So does this mean were dating?" she mumbled.
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Post by Diane McLain on Dec 18, 2009 20:27:47 GMT
She held her, looking down and feeling uncomfortable. She shrugged, "I mean... its up to you. I'll always leave it up to you. You want to stop or start, tell me." she leaned forwards, whispering in her ear "And scream if you want to go faster," leaning back and giving her a wink.
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