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Post by Diane McLain on Dec 14, 2009 2:14:49 GMT
It was starting to get late, and like Diane, most of the students were starting to go to bed. She packed up her things, finding nothing else left to do but go into her room, maybe stay on her laptop for a few hours before falling asleep, or maybe even hooking up her xbox to the TV and playing mindless zombie killing games for a little while. There was nothing else downstairs to do anyway.
She opened the door to her room, throwing her bag into the corner of the room and slowly stepping inside. She looked around, looked at the empty beds and suddenly felt cold. In that moment, her smile threatened to collapse, her eyes flickering around dangerously. She wiped her eyes, even though they were dry, forcing them to remain so, as her mind forced her to recount the past few weeks; She had almost died, found her mother to be dead, dropped out of friendship with her best friend and found herself neatly cutting a divide through the school with some old rivalry. She didn't have time to cope with any of these things, and yes she would shed a tear at the time, but then try and cover it with more smiles and laughter. And that wasn't even mentioning Antosha... 'I'll live. And if not, I'll survive... Can't live with them and can't live without them'; her own words rattled through her mind, hurting her.
What was the point of living at all...?
That last thought frightened her so much she knew she couldn't stay in the room. She grabbed her coat and slung it on while reaching out for her bag, leaving the room as quickly as possible and once again donning her smile.
All she could think of was finding others. With other people, she could talk and forget about everything, and she was only afraid of being alone. But as she walked into the girls main room, she found it empty. She walked out, wandering around campus, looking for anyone that she knew or at least looked like she could talk to. It was late and dark, and most people were either at the fair or in their beds. Finally she stopped, taking a seat just outside the Upper school building's entrance, holding onto her, smiling but blinking quickly in case tears tried to show...
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Post by Antosha Cobb on Dec 14, 2009 2:30:26 GMT
The night was calling, singing to him as he drew a scarlet bird. Antosha looked up, his eyes slightly dazed, their color gone into a milky white, deeming him momentarily blind. He blinked, focusing his eyes on the window. Why did he stop? Something was calling him, but now it was gone. Antosha cocked his head, trying to hear the strange song from before. Then he noticed the late hour, the yards were being lit by the moon's glow. He sighed, shoving the paper and pencil inside his already full backpack and stood up, not noticing the paper left behind.
He needed to walk, a short breather across the campus to clear his mind. Antosha blinked again, though the swirling white was barely fading. His long legs carried him across the grounds, heading for the Upper building. The song had started again, just as the darkness pulled at his clothing, threatening to pull him under. A figure leaned against the doorway, it looked familiar. Where had he seen it before? There was something important about her, but he couldn't remember what, the singing was too loud for his brain to process. "Diane?" he asked, the sound of his voice breaking off the song.
In an instant the white left his eyes, fine lines ran through it faintly. But even those were fading in seconds. He rushed to her side, taking a seat beside her. "You okay?" he asked, letting his accent slip in to make his voice seem silkier and more reassuring. Though, since he was Russian, it didn't work out totally as planned, instead it made his voice pitched lower and rougher then usual.
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Post by Diane McLain on Dec 14, 2009 2:37:12 GMT
Her mind screamed 'Oh Thank God!' as soon as Antosha appeared. Of all the people to assure her, he always managed to make the whole world seem perfect, even if once he left it was always in twice the mess as when she'd started. "Hey Antosha," she said, giving him a hug as he sat down, happiness returning to her voice. She was quietly laughing at his Russian accent, shaking her head and saying, "Sorry, you just sounded like a Bond villain for a moment there." she said, verging on being hysterical just because she needed to laugh.
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Post by Antosha Cobb on Dec 14, 2009 2:47:15 GMT
Antosha looked at her in mock offense. "Well I never!" he said, sticking out his tongue so she knew he was joking. He slipped his arm around her should and smiled, using her head as his own personal headrest. "How have you been my dear?" he asked. His thoughts were still on the song, however, as he began to hum it under his breath.
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Post by Diane McLain on Dec 14, 2009 2:52:05 GMT
"Not too bad," she lied in a strange, cockney imitation, slipping her own arm behind her back. She knew what people would think if she saw it, but at that moment she didn't care; she needed to feel good once in a while, no matter what anyone else thought. "Et toi?" she asked. "What are you singing, anyway? It sounds familiar..." she said, trying to remember who had sung it. For some reason all she could think of was Mathew when she tried to pinpoint what it was.
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Post by Antosha Cobb on Dec 14, 2009 3:06:38 GMT
"I don't know exactly, I heard it while I was in my dorm room." he admitted, smiling at her. Nearby Julie was trying to engaged Mathew in a conversation, waving her arms frantically while she flickered in and out of view. Antosha smiled at Diane and stopped humming, he began to wonder what she was up to at such a later hour. Also, what was up with the new boy.
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Post by Diane McLain on Dec 14, 2009 3:11:06 GMT
She smiled and nodded, sighing as she pulled her legs up onto the chair, using Antosha to support her. She was happy, but she could feel the depression waiting for her again, just biding its time until Antosha was gone and the world would look miserable again. "Fair enough..." she said, not really sure else what to say.
It was quiet. No one was around but the two of them, and only their breathing could be heard, other than that song now going around Diane's head. She looked down; silence was fine, but right now she desperately needed distraction. "So what are you doing up at this obscure hour, anyway?" she asked him.
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Post by Antosha Cobb on Dec 14, 2009 3:15:01 GMT
"I could ask you the same thing." Antosha said with a laugh, shaking his head at her. "Again, I don't know. I was drawing and then something called my name, next thing I know I'm out here by you." he said, smiling. "And yourself?" he asked. The darkness was bothering him, it reminded him too much of his Necromancy obsession days.
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Post by Diane McLain on Dec 14, 2009 3:18:58 GMT
She frowned. It was a bit of a strange explanation, but she thought that she would accept it. "Odd," she commented, and replied to him "I... didn't really feel like being in a room by myself." she admitted, sinking down on the chair and looking up at him, guessing that he would understand. She wouldn't tell him that she had been upset by more than being alone, or that she was actually terrified of letting herself be alone with such dark thoughts. She made no attempt to block this from her thoughts, though.
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Post by Antosha Cobb on Dec 14, 2009 3:25:29 GMT
"Hey, it's alright. You'll never be alone with me around." he whispered, gently pulling her closer to him. Antosha sighed to himself, forgetting about that invisible line that wasn't meant to be crossed. If he was gay, would he really like this with De? She has been the only girl to make him worry so much, had she been a guy of course he would fall for her.
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Post by Diane McLain on Dec 14, 2009 3:28:43 GMT
She twisted herself around, looking down at the arms that he was holding her with, feeling herself shivering slight. "But you never are..." she closed her eyes softly, stopping her eyes from watering and refusing to look. She felt foolish, why had she said that out loud? And why had she said it with such passion, such... unrequited love. She half smiled at her stupidity, making it out like she'd just said it as a joke.
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Post by Antosha Cobb on Dec 14, 2009 3:34:39 GMT
Antosha stopped, pulling away from her quickly, retreating. Mentally he was throwing up barriers like crazy, not wanting anyone in or having to hear her thoughts anymore. He winced, standing up suddenly moving at an almost inhuman speed. "Sorry, De. But I, uh, gotta go finish my homework.. Catch you later?" he asked, feeling guilty for leaving her alone when she was so obviously distressed. But he had let it go to far, he hadn't kept his emotions in check. She shouldn't have fallen for him, shouldn't have cared about him at all. It was all his fault, and now he had to pick up her broken heart, to keep it from loving him ever again.
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Post by Diane McLain on Dec 14, 2009 3:41:28 GMT
She looked up at him, suddenly afraid. She knew it was a mistake, and she closed her eyes tightly, thinking 'Oh please, please just forget I said anything, please...' her inner voice almost in tears. Friendship mattered so much more to her then any school-girl crush. "Um... OK." she said, leaning back from him and getting ready to leave as well, her bag held tightly in her hands. "Sure, if you have to go..." the message was clear; she knew he was lying, and she was giving him a chance, no, begging him to ignore what she had said or thought. It was her own subtle way of saying 'I won't go there if you don't.'
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Post by Antosha Cobb on Dec 14, 2009 3:48:24 GMT
"I'm so sorry Diane." he whispered, hugging her tightly. His body was shaking, trying to hold back the tears he felt coming. Antosha released her, looking her straight in the eyes. "Forget about me." he said seriously before letting her go altogether. He turned away, walking swiftly into the darkness, though he stopped only a few feet away, unable to walk any further.
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Post by Diane McLain on Dec 14, 2009 16:36:28 GMT
She held him, feeling that he was shaking beneath her. What was wrong? She felt herself suddenly feeling cold, wondering what exactly he meant. And then it was clear; Forget about me. She stood up quickly, the world suddenly making clear sense, like a sharpened knife. "Wait," she called, running after him. It soon became clear that she didn't have to run very far, but she still went in front of him, staying about a meter in front of him. The intention was never to stop him, but to force him to look in her direction.
"Stop, Antosha," she said, feeling her own body shaking now, "Stop, this isn't about you." she said, looking down and biting her lip. It seemed like such a strange statement, even to her, and so she explained, "This is my problem, and I'll deal with it, all right? I'm sorry I let it get this out of control but... I-I just needed something to distract myself from everything else that was happening. Because if I'm not thinking about you, what else is there? My mum? Melville? Mayu? Mathew?" she asked, suddenly realising that tears were falling soundlessly down her face.
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