it was forgotten... remember? (Zeke)

[Kit Livingston]

Kit's last sentence with Brynn had been going over and over Kit's mind, driving him insane. He kept remembering the horror he had felt when he had heard what had happened, that he wasn't the same person to Zeke as he had been before. He remembered the cool heart-racing feeling when he had broken free of hints, even if he hadn't been able to say those words.

Finally finding himself unable to stand another moment, he grabbed his phone and his jacket, already on his way out the door as his fingers flew across the keyboard. 'Old Garden, five mins? x' he wrote, looking at the 'x' and wondering if he should erase it when he realised he had already clicked send. Damn... he thought to himself, not quite sure why. Thinking of it wouldn't make any difference anyway.

He walked out into the old garden, staying on the gravelled path as he looked around himself uncertainly. It was a rotten day in a rotten place, so he wasn't surprised that it was empty, just as he had planned. The school seemed to lack private places - at least ones without beds - and now was a chance to find one. He looked up at the grey sky, feeling a damp chill in the air. It wasn't exactly the most romantic of places, but then again that had never been the intention. He sighed, nervously tapping his phone against his hand as he waited.

[Zeke James Vasser]

"Who are you?"
The figure turned to him opening It's mouth but no sound came out.
The lips formed some words "My name is ____ remember?"

Zeke awoke in his bed in a sweat. "Ungh..." He touched his throbbing head. He'd been having the same dream for days now. A plain white room and a shrouded figure, he felt as if that figure was happiness, everything he ever wanted. The figure was love. But never could he get a name or any information nor remember who or what it was. A small vibration broke his focus.

It was Kit. Damn, he hadn't talked to Kit in days and here he was holed in, some lousy friend. "Be there soon (:" He texted back and got up getting dressed in a few minutes. Zeke walked outside wondering why Kit would be in the garden. He went regardless seeing him a few paces away.

"Hey Kit." Zeke grinned waving. "Sorry I haven't talked to you in awhile, school work and a bunch of other stuff is getting in the way and I'm a lazy friend." He said laughing a bit walking up to Kit. "So do you need something or are we just hanging out?" He said looking around the bleak garden.

[Kit Livingston]

He turned to Zeke, a wide smile on his face as he longed to run out and hug him, and hold him in his arms. It was more intense than he had ever felt it, and he knew that it would tumble upon him as soon as he was gone, but while he was with Zeke he didn't feel bad for anything. "Um... I was kind of just wondering where you'd been," he said with a shrug, watching Zeke with soft eyes, "It feels like forever... when was it last?" he asked, wondering if he could work around the memories which Brynn had created, trying to find exactly which memories were deleted or broken and which were intact.

[Zeke James Vasser]

Zeke put his finger to his chin in a thoughtful look if his memory was correct... "Uhm I'm pretty sure a few weeks ago when we went to see that movie." He said with a smile. Of course there was no movie only false memories planted by Brynn. "What wrong do you suffer from short-term memory loss or something?” He said with a smile pushing his hair back. "Like I said I've been real busy with school work and stuff like that, sorry for the sudden disappearance. He laughed a bit. "So what have you been up to?" He asked him.

[Kit Livingston]

He looked away, "Oh.. yeah, that was it..." he said softly, his face shivering as his resolve shook. What movie? His brain scanned through quickly to try and find any recollection of any film they had seen before, coming up with no answers time and time again. He mentally cursed Brynn, wondering how many of the false memories he had planted.

Now, it was clear that sooner or later the truth would come out, and when it did Kit would have to admit that he had known and done nothing to aid his friend. Zeke would be hurt, and Kit would once again feel both of their pains running through his heart. "Zeke...." he said softly, taking a step forwards, bridging the gap between them, his eyes watching him and trying to look and feel as detached as possible. "Before I do this, I need you to know that I am straight." he said, his voice sounding like it was spoken from a long distance away.

Suddenly he leaned forwards, his lips brushing against Zeke's as he held him close, afraid that he would pull away before the memories came back to him, before he felt what he had felt before. Kit had tried to be distant, tried to convince himself that it was just an act that he would pull to get Zeke to fall in love again, so that they could get past all of this memory loss and move forward into a more healthy friendly relationship. But as his lips pressed against Zeke's he felt his heart melt, taking almost all of his strength to stop himself from shaking. His grip tightened, desperate for something to steady himself with.

He pulled himself back, letting go of him suddenly as if Zeke's skin was red hot. He took a step back, and then another, and though he wouldn't admit it as he kept himself as steady and cold as he could. He was breathing heavily to try and catch his breath again. "Do you remember?" he asked softly, his voice cold and distant once more, his eyes like mirrors that showed nothing of the fires that burned beneath them.

[Zeke James Vasser]

Zeke smiled "Of course you're straight what are you-" He was cut off his hand frozen in the air his eyes wide. What was Kit doing? It felt nice, like he knew his feeling from somewhere. The kiss was long and he was still in the state of surprise when suddenly it was broken. At that moment it happened.

It was the dream, happening again "My name is Kit don't you remember?" Kit, he loved Kit. His eyes widened as he touched his head a sharp pain shooting through and fading quickly. "I..." Zeke closed his eyes. "I remember." He said quietly. He loved Kit, memories flooded back to him, some left. It was a strange feeling. He knew though what had happened why this was like this. Brynn did this.

He wasn't angry after all he asked him too. He looked up at Kit backing away. "Kit..." He said quietly stepping forward slowly, quicker and then closed the gap between them. He slowly wrapped an arm around him wondering if it was right to do. "Thank you, I know now." He smiled but it melted quickly as he let go of him backing away. "But...now I remember why I did it." He said looking sideways. "Why would you make me remember? You know that we can only be friends you said it yourself." He took another step back.

"Then that wasn't a real kiss then? Just something to jog my memory." He looked down kicking the ground a few times. "Why then? Why did you have to make this hard? Why couldn't you just be friends with brain-washed me?" It was confusing to him it all worked out the way he saw it, why drag him back?

[Kit Livingston]

He turned away, pulling himself away from Zeke and stepping a distance away, constantly shifting his weight and moving around his hands as he spoke, stepping back every time Zeke tried to step closer. "Because its not right," he said, his eyes looking everywhere around the garden except at Zeke, afraid to look at him in case his resolve broke. "Because...." he started falsely, sighing angrilly as he couldn't think of the answers.

"I knew that you'd just find out again, and it would just hurt you again later..." he said softly, walking to the nearby bench and leaning against its arm, still ready to stand and walk away if Zeke came too close. "I didn't want you hurt..." he said softly, realising suddenly the truth.

He had been selfish. He had enjoyed knowing that Zeke loved him, and hated for it to be taken away. He wanted the chance for Zeke to make a move that he couldn't refuse, and to feel himself falling hopelessly for Zeke and to be able to blame it all on him. "I-I need your help, Zeke..." he said with a shaking voice, feeling his whole body on the verge of collapsing and giving up. "I.... I needed you to know the real me, the real person you knew." he said, finally looking up at Zeke, his eyes meeting his as he was unable to move them, lost in his darkness, his words falling from his lips unnoticed, "I do just want to be friends but know its as hard as it is for me as it is for you." he said. "I'm not strong enough for this."

[Zeke James Vasser]

Zeke's eyes were unfocused. "I don't...get it." He said looking at Kit obviously oblivious to some things. "It was perfect...It was so perfect. I would never have remembered, never been hurt." He said a bit frustrate with himself and a bit with Kit. "You say you don't want to hurt me..." He stepped back looking at him. "You say this and yet you kiss me. You make me remember. You make me hope." Zeke looked down a noticeable space between them. "But I know in the end it all just hurts. Hurts me, hurts you." Zeke swallowed the lump in his throat.

"If I didn't remember we could have still been friends, with the real you too, the only memory replaced was me liking you but now you brought it back." He sounded hurt mostly, and confused. None of it made sense. "Kit, just what do you want from me?" Zeke put his palm to his eye his head hurting all over. "Just tell me...I can change myself, I can altar things, I can be the perfect friend." Magic could do anything right?

[Kit Livingston]

He turned his eyes, taking each of the words like a blade to his heart, his sorrow and anger rising in almost equal measure. He wished that he hadn't kissed him, and had just gotten too drunk to remember as he would have poured away his troubles, maybe bringing back a cute young girl and forgetting that Zeke hadn't even existed. "That would have never happened!" he shouted back to him, amazed that he could actually be so loud, "I couldn't go back to just being your friend, not when the person you were friends with wasn't me. Not when you had that fake history!" he said, standing and stepping right up to him.

"I..." he gritted his teeth, clenching and unclenching his hands as he tried to find out what he wanted. "I... don't know what I want," he said. "I just don't want you to be a guy, I guess." he said, his muscles untensing and his body feeling weak as he looked up at him, "I want to be happy with what I feel... about you," he said, before turning away quickly, anger flooding him once more.

"What does it matter what I want?" he demanded, storming through the garden as he paced around, his entire body facing away from Zeke. "I can't have what I want. Maybe we should just both go back to Brynn, both forget we even met each other...." he said, his words turning from anger to a soft trailing off as he was unable to sustain the energy to keep the fire alive. He felt something cold and itching on his cheeks, unable to tell or even care that they were tears.

[Zeke James Vasser]

Zeke was matching his anger with his own rising frustration. "What Kit? What is it you feel about me?" He said taking his own step forward. "That I'm weird, or what? Disgusting? Because I like guys?" He was blind with his own stupid thoughts. "Just tell me please..." He said more quietly. "Tell me I don't want this confusion, I just want you to be honest to me...honest to your own feelings." He said feeling sorry for his outburst. He stepped up behind him hearing the small noise of someone crying. He wanted so badly to reach out, hold him, or comfort him or something. "Say it." He stated quite blankly. "We can put this behind us if you'd just say what you feel. So I can be sure in my actions."

[Kit Livingston]

He gritted his teeth, lowering his head as he tried to think. How could he tell Zeke what he felt when he didn't even know himself? He let out a low, shaking sigh as he turned around, unaware of how red his eyes were and how wet his cheeks were. "I..." he tried, closing his eyes as he failed yet again to speak. "I like you, Zeke. Same as you do for me," he said, practically spitting out the words as if they were poison. "But I told you that I was straight, and I mean that. I... can't be with you, I just can't be with a man..." he explained quickly, clenching his fists in anger at himself. Can't I...? the question came into his head, but he quickly shook it off, refusing to even give it a chance.

[Zeke James Vasser]

There it was. Zeke looked at him with a look of sadness. "Why?" He whispered extending his hand to dry Kit's tears. "Why should it matter what a gender is, you like Zeke, not some boy." He stepped closer. "Kit, if you'd just see. I can show you what it feels like to have fleeting moments of love, and even if you don't believe love lasts...it's all worth it in the end." He leaned in closer to Kit's face maybe moving too quickly. He wouldn't kiss, oh no, not without permission of some sort. He stayed there, faces close, staring at him with his deep amber eyes. "Please don't cry anymore." Zeke wiped more of the tears from his face.

[Kit Livingston]

He looked, his breathing shaking. He could feel the tears flooding this time, washing over Zeke's hand as he desperately tried to blink them shut. "I don't want to feel like this from anyone..." he told him softly, feeling helpless and alone, even as he stood with Zeke. He longed to wrap his arms around him, to brush his lips against his once more. He knew it was exactly what Zeke wanted, and he would be a hypocrite to say that it wasn't natural. "I don't want to fall in love" he said, wanting to tear himself away, suddenly realising why people found it so irresistible, and why they went back to that sweet poison called love again and again. "It's not worth it, it's never worth it..." he said, his words rambling and incoherent. "Even... even if this wasn't breaking everything I am, then its still not worth the pain." he said, fear lacing his words.

[Zeke James Vasser]

Zeke had his hand on the side of Kit's face slowly pulling him closer, their lips so close. That’s how loved worked, the ones who didn't believe it feel the hardest. "I can make it worth it, for you Kit. You don't need to be afraid or reject it." He said softly. "Trust me..." He looked at him his other arm wrapping around Kit's waist. "Do you trust me?" He asked him softly wiping a few more tears away but they kept coming. "Love doesn't have to be a bad thing..." He said to him quietly.

[Kit Livingston]

Kit closed his eyes, finding no other way to stop the tears as he drew in a long shuddering breath, giving in and wrapping his arms around Zeke, resting his head against his shoulder as he cried. Zeke may as well have been telling him that the world was flat, or that magic didn't exist. It had been a simple fact that he had known all of his life, and he knew that everyone he had ever cared for had been faced with the same decision as he had. Trust and fall, or refuse and feel the pain right at that moment. He knew which choice had always been taken before, and only now knew why.

"One day... I'll wake up and..." He could barely breath, nevermind speak, though he tried his hardest. "I'm so afraid, Zeke," he breathed, closing his eyes and pulling him close.